


Electrostatic

by carriecmoney



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bodyswap, Canon Compliant, Electricity, Gen, M/M, NaNoWriMo, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-01-30 22:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12663048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carriecmoney/pseuds/carriecmoney
Summary: It was rotten timing for Oikawa and Sawamura to become figures on a circuit diagram, but there's nothing they can do about it now. They're stuck as each other. Bodyswap AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> {A/N: I've been hoarding ideas for a bodyswap AU for years, and an oidai one for months, so I'm using NaNoWriMo and the end of my previous two long term projects ([Caravan](http://archiveofourown.org/series/310932) and [Ichor](http://archiveofourown.org/series/836508) also known as werevamp) as a reason to let go and write something silly. Naturally, this will be thoroughly sourced both culturally and academically and I will re-enroll in a physics major to support it. If you already read either of those fics you probably already know where this is headed, but I honestly don't know what my endgame(s) for this fic will be yet - but I can bet money that it won't be pair-aligned. Sorry if you come for a specific ship, but I'll do my best to keep the pairing tags up to date for what actually happens. I've become an extreme pantser in my old age so this is just gonna be Going. I'm already having a lot of fun writing this fic and I'm keeping up the pace, so hopefully I'll be able to update throughout the month and supply the oidai tag with Content! As always, characters/content tags will be added as they appear. [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/carriecmoney) [tumblr](http://carriecmoney.tumblr.com)}

Daichi should probably say that it was fate that led him to a different manga café than his usual stop on the way home from Saturday practice. Oikawa would want him to. Really, he just wanted to see if they had the latest update from his unpopular favorite and knew that the owner of the one by his house was tired of him asking.

Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what stars had aligned when he shouldered open the door, cold hands stuck under his arms to protect from the snow-laden wind, and met startled cinnamon-brown eyes across the café. “Uh-oh.”

Oikawa Tooru snapped his book shut over a scowl. “ _You_.”

“Uh- I’m just gonna-”

“No, no, come in,” he said, smiling like Daichi’s presence was a cat clawing at his face. “I’m sure you have just as much right to be here as me.”

Daichi sighed, shoulders falling, as the front desk clerk watched with a raised eyebrow. “Is this gonna be a thing?”

“Oh, you _made_ it a thing, _Captain-_ kun.” He stood and crossed over to the entry as Daichi kicked off his shoes, slapping some coins down on the counter, tapping the wood with the spine of his manga. “Oh, yeah, he’s with me now.”

The cashier shrugged. “If you say so, Oikawa-kun.” He slid the coins off the counter to drop them in the register. He nodded at Daichi for safe passage. He had no choice but to sigh and follow Oikawa’s stalk over to the couch he had been sprawled on, taking the armchair corner to it, dropping his bag at his feet. Oikawa flipped open his book with his nose in the air, not looking at Daichi but not turning away from him, and Daichi couldn’t help but smile. Oikawa sniffed.

“Don’t look so satisfied with yourself,” he whined, tucking his feet to the side and burying them between the couch cushions. “You’re not _that_ special.”

“Is that right?” Oikawa ‘hmph’ed, and Daichi patted his knees. “So, you gonna let me find something to read, or were you planning on hosting storytime?” Oikawa rolled his eyes with his whole head to hide how he was fighting a smile. Daichi reclined in the chair, fingers laced over his chest, heels crossed. Oikawa wriggled around to put the book between them, so Daichi turned his head to read the spine- “Oh.”

Oikawa lowered the book enough to peer over the top. “ _Oh?_ ” Daichi scratched behind his ear.

“That… that’s actually what I came here to find.” Oikawa lowered it more, face falling to a blank stare. “The place by my house never has it, so I was checking others out just in case…”

“They order it special for me here.” Oikawa closed it around his finger, tilting his head at him. “Never would’ve pegged you for the type, Sawamura-kun.”

Daichi shrugged. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” He nudged at Oikawa’s knee with his foot. “Never would’ve pegged _you_ for the kind to be a regular at a manga café nowhere near Aoba Johsai.”

“Oh, I live nearby, not that _you_ needed to know that-” He pulled a face and fell over the arm of the sofa, pressing his open manga over his head with a groan. “Great, now I’m gonna get _stalked_ by the guy who helped Tobio-chan _beat_ me.”

“It was a team effort.” Oikawa punched his leg, and Daichi laughed, knuckle to his mouth to keep it in. They were the only visible ones in the naturally-lit front communal room of the café besides the attendant, but he had no idea who was in the privacy rooms in the back. “I would be sorry,” he said, “except, well. I’m not.”

“ _Jackass_ ,” Oikawa hissed into the couch. Daichi chuckled as he dropped limper, like a noddle barely staying on the spoon. “I hate you,” he whispered.

“Then why did you pay for me?” He didn’t think _he_ would, in his situation. Oikawa flapped the book.

“Because-” He pushed back up to his elbows, slapping the spine of the volume into his other palm as he stared Daichi down. “Because as much as I _hate_ you – and I do – you…” He scowled at the page he was stuck on. “You’re interesting.”

“Oh.” Daichi blinked as Oikawa turned away, hair fluffing. “Well, same to you, I guess.” He let the shock twist in the silence for a second, then nodded at the book. “If you’re not gonna read it, may I?”

Oikawa blinked at the book in his hands – held it out. Daichi took it, flipping through the pages. “What got you into it, anyway?” Oikawa asked, cheek propped on a hand and feet kicking behind him. He shrugged with one shoulder when Daichi raised an eyebrow. “Everyone’s got a story.”

Daichi switched the cross of his ankles. “Middle school friend got me hooked back when it still came out regular.” He paged to the recap at the front. It had been a while since the last volume came out, much less since he got a chance to read it. “What about you?”

Oikawa lit up, feet drumming on the sofa. “Well, you see-”

Daichi sighed and closed the manga as Oikawa launched into his story about a cute teacher and a school project, long fingers fluttering. He wasn’t getting _any_ reading done today.

They talked until the sun set, conversation wandering from their shared manga interests to the neighborhood to holidays to food. Oikawa was unable to settle in one position for too long, rolling around on the couch and bouncing on the cushions. The manga itself ended up discarded on the table under snack wrappers and coffee cans they traded buying from the vending machines, the solo attendant spending most of the time he didn’t have to deal with anyone but them to deal with tapping at his phone. Once Oikawa got started, it seemed, it was hard for him to stop, but Daichi couldn’t say he minded. Except for how they kept skirting around the whole ‘I’m the reason your high school volleyball career is over’ thing – still fresh, after all, their game was barely a week ago – they got along pretty well. Oikawa had that nasty personality Kageyama had warned about, but it had enough layers to it that it wasn’t repulsive, but a delight to find what root was buried under every thought. Daichi tried to bite back, something about Oikawa’s taunts drawing out the snappy side to him that normally only showed when Asahi was being a wimp.

They were shocked out of it when the attendant turned the house lights on. He winced with a little apology, but Oikawa stretched like a cat and rubbed his eyes as he looked out the window at the street. It was still snowing, ground not cold enough for it to stick but white flower-clusters blowing up and down the sidewalk. “Yikes. Looks rough out there.” Daichi stood, groaning, legs that had been a little sore after practice yelling at him for sitting still for so long. Oikawa tapped his arm with a fist. “Be a gentleman and walk me home.”

Daichi paused in shrugging his coat back on. “What?”

“C’mon, you know you want to. I’ll pay off the rest of the tab if you do.”

Daichi sighed, snapping the clasp in the middle of his coat as Oikawa tied his scarf around his neck. “How does _anyone_ handle you?”

“I don’t get _handled_.” He flounced off to the snickering attendant, settling the fee for their extra hours as Daichi slung his bag over his head to lay across his chest, checking his phone. His mom had texted him about half an hour ago for an ETA on when he would be home; he tapped off a _Soon_ and stuck it in his pocket, wandering over to the door where Oikawa was badgering the attendant, who was easygoing enough to laugh it off – or knew Oikawa well enough. Or both. Daichi rolled his eyes and tugged on the knot of Oikawa’s scarf at the back of his neck. “C’mon, you fool, let’s get you home so _I_ can get home.”

“If you insist. Bye, Cashier-kun!”

Daichi huffed, working his feet back into his sneakers. “You _could_ ask him his name sometime.”

“But that detracts from the mystery.” Daichi shook his head as he pulled his hat on and Oikawa shoved his feet in the expensive boots gathering dust in the corner of the genkan, stuffing his cords into them. He gestured for Daichi to go first, which he did with another sigh, waving at the café attendant one more time as they got a faceful of cold wind.

“ _Brr!_ ” Oikawa hunched in as the door swung shut. He grabbed Daichi by the arm and yanked him close, burrowing into the hood of his coat – jumped back, eyes wide. “Oh! I- I’m sorry-”

Daichi chuckled, ears warm under his hat. “No, it’s okay.” Oikawa still hid his pout behind his scarf as he dug mittens out of his jacket pocket, heading down the street (and away from Daichi’s house). Daichi fell into step beside him, watching him keep a careful distance until Oikawa sighed, breath misting before it was broken apart by the snow-laced wind. “Something wrong?”

Oikawa shook his head. “No- well, not more than normal.” He tilted his head back to get battered by the snow – almost a storm without the drifts. “This is the first nice time I’ve really had since…” He made an unpleasant, animalistic noise and hid his whole face but his eyes behind his scarf. “Well.”

Daichi frowned, bare hands clenching into fists in his pockets. “I’m sorry.” Oikawa cut his eyes at him, and he swallowed on a dry throat (from the cold). “I wish… it didn’t have to be this way.”

Oikawa huffed, eyes smiling. “Y’know, you might be the first person to say that and have me actually believe you.” Daichi chuckled, then let his gut guide him and held out his arm like he was leading Oikawa into a ballroom, not a snowstorm. Oikawa nodded graciously and took it, not quite holding to Daichi’s side. It was a little awkward – Oikawa was just enough taller than him that they didn’t match up well. Their steps were out of sync, and Daichi didn’t _normally_ escort rival team captains home at night in a snowstorm – but Oikawa quiet was almost as nice company as Oikawa loud.

“Sorry ‘bout earlier, when I jumped you,” Oikawa mumbled as he tugged them up a hill, leading into the wind. “Almost thought you were – someone else. Lost track of my manners.”

“Didn’t know you had any manners to lose.” Oikawa bumped him with his hip. “It’s fine, really, I was just a little – startled.” He nudged Oikawa’s side with his elbow. “Do you _normally_ accost your friends at the slightest whim?”

“Only the ones I _really_ like.” Daichi raised his eyebrows behind the lip of his beanie, and Oikawa backtracked, “Not that I like you or anything! You just remind me of-” He clapped his jaw shut as Daichi laughed, bending over a little and dragging Oikawa’s arm with him. “Hey!” Oikawa yelled. “It’s not f-”

_CRACK!_

They both lifted clean off the ground for two whole seconds as their world turned white, blistering and blinding. Oikawa might have been shrieking in Daichi’s ear, but it was hard to tell over the ringing and the sparks flying everywhere. They clutched each other close as electric static crackled through the air, over skin, melting rubber and frying nerves…

The world did fall back together, though. Daichi blinked away crawlers as he looked around – he was smothered in Oikawa’s scarf. He spat out wool as Oikawa eased off his iron grip, panting. “What the _fuck?_ ”

Daichi shook his head, only making it hurt worse, and peered around in the sudden dark. Sparks still fell from overhead – he glanced up to see them shooting out of a metal cylinder attached to the power pole they were standing under. He pointed up. “Lightning must’ve hit the transformer,” he said, voice rough.

“ _Lightning_? In a _snowstorm_?”

“It’s a thing,” Daichi said, mind still hazy and achy. “Never seen it ‘round here, though.” He backed away, rubbing at his head. “Maybe I should go home now,” he mumbled. “Don’t wanna be out in this more than we should.”

“Yeah. Smart plan, Sawamura.” Oikawa patted his shoulder, touch a mile away from any nerves in his body that could feel anything besides electric singing. “See you around, I guess.” Daichi nodded, and Oikawa brushed past him, weaving a little as he trudged up the dark hill to a blue house just a ways up. Daichi blinked after him – looked around. Where the hell _was_ he?

He started to walk back down the way he came, but his head was still spinning, and – why had they even _tried_ to walk home in a snowstorm at _night?_ Thunder rumbled in the distance as he found a corner of a garden wall to sit on, concrete freezing his ass as he fumbled for his phone, fingers shaking as he just managed to dial _Mom_ , sticking the phone up between his hat and his ear.

She picked up on the second ring. “ _Honey? Where are you?_ ”

“Hey Okaa-san, uh…” He frowned at the house sign under his feet. “Block eighteen?”

“ _What? Why?_ ”

“I met – a friend at the café, and I was walking him home, and…” He bit his lip, working it back and forth between his teeth, eyes clenched shut. “Can you come pick me up?”

“ _Of course baby, I’ll be there in a few. Just hang tight, okay?_ ” He nodded, then mumbled a thanks. “ _You just stay right where you are. What’s around you? Oh my, this is a_ storm _. Dai-chan, you know better-_ ”

“I was distracted, Okaa-san.” She sighed, and he forced himself to look around through the stars still shooting across his vision with the snow. “There’s a really big yellow house across from me. I’m on a corner.”

“ _Okay, stay in the light where I can see you, I’ll be right there_.” She hung up, and he let the phone drop, hanging his head between his knees as he tried to breathe. Breathe…

His breathing hadn’t gotten any easier when a car engine rumbled to a stop in front of him. He slid off his seat as his mom reached across the car to open the door for him, forehead furrowed. He stumbled over and fell in, throwing his bag at his feet and closing the door, shivering in the sudden lukewarmth. She laid the back of a warm hand to his cheek. “Sweetheart, what possessed you to go walking in a snowstorm at night? You _know_ better.”

He huffed. “Sorry.” She huffed back, but threw the car into gear and did a U-turn in the abandoned street, heading back home as he pulled a knee to his chest, hiding his face in his cold jeans. Just a quick car nap…

* * *

Tooru woke up with his face pressed against a scratchy throw pillow and a crick in his neck. He groaned, hiding from the light behind his hand. His head _hurt_. He hadn’t _done_ anything the day before to warrant this, just gone to the manga café, had a surprisingly civil chat with the Karasuno captain, walked home with him, got struck by lightning-

He groaned louder. Maybe he should’ve gone to the damn hospital, but he was so out of it then, and his parents weren’t home from visiting his sister to drive him there. He had barely made it upstairs to his room before he crashed. Maybe he should check on Sawamura, make sure he hadn’t collapsed in the street. Had he even gotten his email address? He had meant to, but…

“Oh, butterball, are you awake?” He scowled – _butterball?_ “I’ve got breakfast ready when you want it.”

He pushed to his elbows to blink at the unfamiliar voice. Where the _hell_ was he? This wasn’t his couch – this wasn’t his living room. A lady he didn’t know at _all_ poked her head in the room with a soft smile. “You fell asleep like a rock, Dai-chan. It’s not as easy to carry you inside as it used to be, y’know.”

“Huh?” That was _not his voice_. He swung to his fee _not his feet what the fuck?_ The lady frowned when he looked up at her with wide eyes. “Who-” He clammed up. “I gotta… bathroom,” he said, voice lower and rumblier than it had ever been. She shrugged and disappeared from the door that smelled like food _his kitchen was on the other side of his house_. He fumbled at his – _this_ body, stockier and wider, plain shirt and jeans on it under a thin throw blanket. There was a phone on the table by the couch. He grabbed it and stumbled around, where were the stairs in this _damn_ place? _There_. He ran up them, opening every door until he found a bathroom. He clutched at the sink blind, eyes clenched shut against the mirror’s hard truth. He took a deep breath, cracked an eye…

He shoved Sawamura’s hand over Sawamura’s mouth and _screamed_.

* * *

Daichi didn’t get to find out naturally. He got woken up by a sliding door slamming and a phone held up against his ear, screaming bloody murder at him.

He pushed the screaming away and yawned, sitting up in a pile of too many blankets. “Wuzzgoinon?”

“ _What did you do?_ ” shrieked the voice on the phone. Daichi yawned and took the phone so whoever was holding it for him could stop.

“What _did_ I do?” He blinked – why did he _sound_ like that? He looked around – this wasn’t his room, or any room he had ever been in. He got to the door-slamming person sitting next to him and met sharp, vaguely familiar eyes that he couldn’t quite place. “Uh. Hi?”

“ _This is all your- oh shit is that what I_ sound _like?_ ” Daichi scratched his head – whoa, since when did he have all this hair? “ _This is a nightmare – I’ve got to be dreaming –_ ow!”

He sighed. “Okay, who is this?”

“ _Who- go look in the damn mirror!_ ” Daichi rolled his eyes and threw off the blankets, scowling at the five separate layers he was buried under. The almost-familiar eyes pointed at a hand mirror on the nightstand (he grimaced – who kept a mirror there?). He pushed the handle down with a fist on the edge to pop up the mirror, then blinked at Oikawa’s face blinking back at him.

“Huh.”

“ _‘Huh’, he says!_ ” Did he really sound that pissed when he yelled? “ _Iwa-chan!_ ”

“Excuse me,” the other guy – Iwa-chan? – said, taking the phone back and clearing his throat. “If you can’t talk civilly, then we’re hanging up until you can settle down,” he snapped into the receiver like a mom at the end of her patience. “Get yourself in order and come over so we can sort this shit out.”

“Myself _in order? I’m not even myself_ at all-” But Iwa-chan (that couldn’t be his name) hung up with a huff, tossing the phone on the bed and falling on his face with a groan, too many blankets fluffing up. Daichi pulled his feet out of the way, wincing when his knee bent funny. Oikawa’s knee. Oh.

Iwa-chan pushed to his elbows, scowling at him. “So. You’re really not Oikawa?”

Daichi shook his head. “Well, I didn’t think I was.” He looked down at his hands, a different skin tone over longer fingers. “Maybe I am now?”

Iwa-chan ( _Iwaizumi_ , he was the Seijoh ace) snorted. “Oh, you’re definitely not Oikawa.” Daichi grinned and sat up against the wall by the futon, stretching out his new limbs, bending them – they were so _long_. Iwaizumi buried a tired laugh in a stuffed animal flopped across the bed – an elephant. “What the _fuck_ ,” he moaned into fluff, hugging it close. Daichi bit his lip.

“I’m sorry?”

Iwaiuzmi shook his head, coarse spikes wild like he had gotten dragged out of bed by someone screaming in his ear – which he probably had. “If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s the shithead’s,” he grumbled. Iwaizumi took a few more deep elephant breaths, then turned his head to look at Daichi. “Okay, time to go back,” he said with a sigh. “Who _are_ you, then?”

Daichi pushed some cinnamon hair out of his eyes. “I’m, uh. I think I was Sawamura Daichi.” He grinned with a shrug. “Guess we’ll find out when I show up.”

Iwaizumi scowled. “The Karasuno captain?” Daichi nodded. “ _How?_ ”

“Fuck me if I know.” He tugged at the clothes Oikawa had been wearing when they switched – the same shirt as yesterday and boxers. Was he supposed to be embarrassed by someone else’s underwear on legs he could control? “We – ran into each other yesterday,” he said, pulling a pillow over his lap just in case. “He tricked me into walking him home-” He snapped. “Of course. The lightning.”

“The what now?”

“We got caught out in the storm last night, and lightning struck the transformer on the street. Blew it up.”

“Oh, yeah, I heard something like that last night. Power’s still out,” he said, gesturing to the dim lamp and quiet computer on Oikawa’s kneeling desk. “Didn’t know snowstorms could _have_ lightning.”

“Some can,” Daichi said. “Usually only see them in the mountains, though.”

“So…” Iwaizumi scowled at the wall. “That means you’ll have to get hit _again_ to switch back, with Oikawa, I guess. If you don’t die.”

“Thanks for that.” Daichi closed his eyes, nudging at the twinge still in his knee. “Your name _is_ Iwaizumi, right?” he asked. “Sorry if it’s a dumb question.”

“Something tells me we’re about to have a _lot_ of dumb questions.” Daichi chuckled – giggled. This was a _weird_ body. “It’s Iwaizumi Hajime.” He sighed. “But if we don’t have another freak storm tonight, you’re gonna have to have to call me Iwa-chan if y’all don’t want to end up in a psych ward or a science lab.”

“ _Really?_ Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi smiled, eyes soft as he tried to hide it by shoving his cheek into his palm, still staring at the wall and not at Daichi. “Yeah. It’s not the worst one he’s got.” His eyes widened. “Oh fuck, we’re gonna have to teach you _all_ of Oikawa’s dumb nicknames.”

“I’m not really a nickname kind of guy…” He tilted his head back to look at the distant ceiling, banging his crown on the wall. “Oh. Oh _no_.”

“What?”

Daichi pinched the bridge of his nose – missed, fingers closing together. Oikawa’s nose was smaller than his, apparently. “Oikawa has to be _nice_ to Kageyama.”

A pause. “Well, might as well call the psych ward now.” Daichi snorted, and Iwaizumi laughed, rolling on his back, arms flung out wide and hand landing in Daichi’s pillow-covered lap. He tugged it back, lip bit. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Just- Oikawa.”

Daichi hummed. “He’s very… affectionate.”

Iwaizumi snorted. “You don’t know the half of it.” He looked up at Daichi, upside-down and lip still worrying. “This’ll take some getting used to.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” He slid of the futon and got to his feet, testing them out under him. These legs just went for _miles_. “How do tall people _deal_ with this?”

“Wish I knew.”

“Okay.” Deep breath. “Okay.” He rolled his ankles, twitching when the same knee popped. He should ask about that. “Where’s the bathroom?”

Iwaizumi jerked a thumb out the still-open door. “To the right, second door.”

“Okay. I’ll… be back.” He wobbled off – Oikawa’s body _sat_ different, all shoulders and skinny legs. Iwaizumi made a strange snerfing noise behind him, and he scowled over his shoulder, lip pouting out of its own accord. “Oh yeah? Let’s see _you_ handle being eight centimeters taller overnight!” Iwaizumi broke into laughter, hiding his tears in the elephant. Daichi stalked down the hall, giggles following him.

* * *

Daichi and Iwaizumi talked while they waited for Oikawa to show up, about Oikawa’s health, who else they were friends with, what they had been doing since Daichi and his flock crushed their dreams. It was a reminder that never stopped hurting, turning the savor of their victory bittersweet. Iwaizumi didn’t seem to have much of a personal grudge – they had done what they had to do – but the aimless twitch to his feet when he talked about all his newly freed study time made Daichi cross his arms tighter around himself. He had to deal with that now, too, maybe.

They had migrated to the kitchen for cereal for lunch by the time the front door slammed open, followed by twin smaller thumps of shoes hitting the wall. “Guard,” Iwaizumi mumbled around his spoon. Daichi sat up straighter at the kitchen table, braced against the jump scare of the movie monster.

 _He_ appeared in the kitchen entry, face red and splotchy (he looked awful upset), hair a mess, clothes barely clinging to his body. “ _You_ ,” he hissed, face twisting in a way _his own face_ was not supposed to.

Daichi gulped. “Uh-oh.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Let's see how long I can keep up this update schedule. [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/carriecmoney) [tumblr](http://carriecmoney.tumblr.com) [budding youtube mix for this AU](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQ71NpayI0fn0vaw1etlQsmTOa8BVI643)

Tooru was _not_ going to have a good day. He could _feel_ it.

Not only did he still have to wake up for morning practice, the only silver lining to losing, but he had to do it in a body that couldn’t touch its toes and with people he viscerally _hated_. Absolutely _none_ of the Karasuno bitches were worth their salt, and here he was, having to _see_ them again. _Train_ with them. Pretend to _like_ them. And he couldn’t call anyone _anything_ ending in ‘chan’.

5:18 AM **actually Oikawa:** this is never going to work  
5:19 AM **actually Sawamura:** got any other options? I’d love to hear them

Tooru ground his teeth as he tied these ratty shoelaces hard enough to almost tear them. They had been up and down it yesterday in his kitchen with Iwaizumi, but came up dry for ways to recreate the lightning strike without potentially causing serious damage. (Tooru had tried to argue that this _was_ serious damage, but Iwaizumi and Sawamura refused to bend.) So. They resigned themselves to living in this out of body hell until it either reverted back on its own or summer came and they could chase storms around the countryside, and spent the rest of that _long_ Sunday teaching each other basic facts about their everyday lives and practicing acting with Iwaizumi as the judge. He was quick to give Sawamura’s gaudy impression of Tooru a passing grade, but refused to let upon Tooru, calling his performance ‘plastic’ and ‘take that damn stick out of your ass, Shittykawa, or I’ll _give_ you a stick up your ass’. Which, topic for another time when he was inhabiting a body that he felt comfortable touching the dick of longer than he needed to pee. He shoved out the door, buried in layers against the remnants of the weekend’s cold, and pulled out his phone as he walked to check his and Sawamura’s new LINE chat.

5:25 AM **actually Sawamura:** keep an eye out for Suga. He’s crafty  
5:26 AM **actually Oikawa:** yeah I know I could tell  
5:26 AM **actually Sawamura:** you could? When?  
5:26 AM **actually Oikawa:** in our game  
5:27 AM **actually Sawamura:** good. You’re prepared then  
5:27 AM **actually Sawamura:** and don’t be afraid to kick Asahi’s ass. But only Asahi  
5:28 AM **actually Sawamura:** and don’t flirt with Shimizu. It won’t end well  
5:28 AM **actually Oikawa:** I KNOW LEAVE ME ALONE /OKAA-SAN/

He stomped along the path of the map Sawamura had down him on one of his parents’ grocery lists, grumbling into Sawamura’s scratchy scarf, bag banging his leg with every step. This was a _mistake_ – they should have just taken a trip to Australia or something and tried to find a thunderstorm to stand in, or walked really fast in fuzzy socks on a carpet, or stuck a toaster in the bathtub- “Daichi.” –or maybe break into a university science lab and find an EMP generator, _some_ one in this damn prefecture had to have one – “Hey, Daichi?” –fuck, he would stick a stupid fork in a socket if it would get him back where he was supposed to be- “ _Daichi!_ ”

Tooru spun around as someone yanked on his arm with a strangled yelp. “ _Hey!_ ” Brown eyes game him a weird look from under soft gray hair. Right. Refreshing-kun.

“I’ve been yelling at you for like, two whole minutes,” he said, hands on his hips. “Where were you _going_? School is _that_ way,” he said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. Tooru’s face burned as he shoved the improvised map in his pocket (a crumpled mess now) and tried to smile.

“Right, of course! Sorry Rrrrr. Suga.” _Fuck_. Suga crossed his arms, leaning back a little to give him a look. Tooru twitched his head to flip his hair out of his eyes – right. Fuck. This was already a disaster. “Sorry, I just – slept bad.” True enough. It was _cold_ in the Sawamura’s house. Suga didn’t seem to buy it, but Tooru pushed past him in the direction he pointed. “Whatever, let’s go.”

“You okay, Daichi?” Suga asked, falling in beside him. “You look a little – red.”

“ _Fine_.” Suga blinked. Maybe Daichi didn’t normally take a tone over a stupid question. He sighed. “Sorry.”

“Okay then.” Suga adjusted his bag on his shoulder. “You want me to lead practice today, then, grumbly bear?”

Tooru sagged, leaning against Suga’s side. “Would you _please?_ I’m _so_ not ready to lead your _our_ disorderly mob.”

“Okay, okay! No need to get so handsy!” Suga said, laughing as he shoved at Tooru’s shoulder, face pink. “What’s gotten into you today?” he asked, laugh still in his eyes. Tooru winced.

 _You have no idea_. “Just Monday crazy, I guess.”

“If you say so. C’mon, we better hurry to beat the terrible two to the clubroom.” Tooru shuddered and picked up the pace, letting the silence fall to Suga’s whistle and the pre-dawn birds’ chirping. ‘Terrible two’ could only have one meaning. Suga asked a few casual questions about class and homework, but luckily he and Sawamura had spent most of the day before doing their homework together and crash coursing their classes, so he was able to answer with only mild amounts of panic. Tooru had been surprised to find that Sawamura was in a college prep class, too, which Sawamura himself had made a face at that made Iwaizumi choke on his tea at how ‘right’ he got it. Smartasses. At least it meant neither of them had to worry about some idiot coming in and tanking their grades, but their schools both did prep in totally different ways, so it was going to be a feat of gymnastics to show his work the way he was _supposed_ to. Ugh.

The Karasuno campus was _dingy_ , but Suga didn’t react to it, so Tooru tried to keep his face in control as they wandered back to the clubrooms. A door in the middle of the top row was already open; Suga sighed. “Oh dear.”

Something small and energetic jumped out of the door, hanging halfway over the railing. “Suga-san! Dai-san! Good morning!”

“Stop yelling, Noya!” Suga called back, hands cupped around his mouth. “It’s too early!” Suga sighed as the tiny ball of electricity cackled and dove back inside, a few muffled squawks following his landing. “Can’t take him anywhere,” he sighed.

“I believe it.” Suga sent him another sharp look, but let it die without comment and took the stairs two at a time. Tooru tried and tripped on the first step, shoe catching, only barely gripping the handrail in time. Suga laughed at him as he scowled at his legs. “Is this what being short is _like?_ ” he mumbled.

“Sorry, can’t hear you!” Suga teased from the top. Tooru scowled at him – he had already learned Sawamura had a _much_ better angry face than him – but Suga just laughed it off, skipping out of sight. Tooru climbed the stairs one by one, scowling at his feet the whole way. Luckily, this body didn’t seem as prone to tears as his real one.

If the Karasuno campus was old, the Karasuno volleyball locker room was a madhouse, complete with bloodstains and patients. Noya and the angry bald one mobbed Tooru before he could step both feet over the threshold, hanging off his neck and screaming nonsense in his ears. He threw them off with a big shake, growling, “Knock it off!”

“Better leave Grumpy Pants-kun alone today,” Suga sang from across the room as the bald one – Tanaka – stopped and stared while Noya just went in for the rebound. “Someone’s in a bad mood this morning.”

“Aw, did the neighbor’s cat keep you up last night, too?” Noya yelled in his ear. “She’s been _wailing_ outside my window for _weeks-_ ”

“Noya-san, not everyone lives where you live,” a new voice said, dragging Noya off Tooru by the collar. “Those are called ‘other people’.” He nodded a bow at Tooru. “I’m sorry, Dai-san. I couldn’t keep him from having his morning coffee.”

Tooru tried to smile as he tried to place this face in the blur of facebook and Mixi pictures they had run through yesterday. “That’s okay – I’m sure you did your best.”

“ _Chikara!_ ” Noya whined, trying and failing to pull the hood of his sweatshirt out of his grip. “Let me go!” Right, Ennoshita, or Karasuno’s Yahaba. Right. That guy. Ennoshita let go at the extent of Noya’s pull so he yanked right into a faceplant. Tooru burst out laughing – slapped a hand over his mouth. But Suga and Tanaka was standing over Noya’s groaning prone form, arms crossed and smirk on. Oh yeah. _Definitely_ the Karasuno Yahaba.

Tooru stepped over Noya’s shockingly small feet – oh shit. Which locker was his? It was probably the one by Suga’s, but… He whipped out his phone.

5:57 AM **actually Oikawa:** WHICH LOCKER IS YOURS ASAP

“Uh-oh. Incoming!”

Tooru barely had time to look down at Noya’s frantic scramble from the door before twin yells burst through and _rammed_ into his back, knocking the wind out of him when he hit the concrete. He coughed as the yelling turned to arguing, hands and knees digging into all sorts of soft places, and – fuck it. He propped his chin in his hands and glared at the rubber opposite his eye level, Suga crying into his locker, Tanaka and Ennoshita trying to drag off the monsters having a catfight on his back, and Noya cheering and jumping in.

“It was a mistake to wake up this morning,” he grumbled, tapping his fingers on his cheekbone. Suga fell to the ground, back to the lockers and heels of his hands pressed over his eyes, shoulders shaking. Tooru sighed and banged his face into the concrete.

* * *

5:57 AM **actually Oikawa:** WHICH LOCKER IS YOURS ASAP  
5:59 AM **actually Sawamura:** back left, second from the end. The one with no stickers on it  
6:01 AM **actually Sawamura:** do you actually wear your tie?  
6:04 AM **actually Oikawa:** if you don’t put on every single part of my uniform I’m shaving one of your eyebrows. Yes I wear my tie  
6:04 AM **actually Oikawa:** your team is awful and I hate you  
6:04 AM **actually Sawamura:** Give them some time. They’ll grow on you  
6:05 AM **actually Oikawa:** Yeah like the flu. Or mold

Daichi sighed and set Oikawa’s phone down. He had woken up earlier than he needed to, either his head saying there was practice, Oikawa’s body saying there was practice, or the phone rattling off the nightstand telling him to get up and deal with Oikawa’s Mood. He couldn’t blame him for being cranky – Daichi had hit his head on a doorframe for the first time yesterday, which officially erased all desire he had ever had to hit hundred eighty centimeters before he graduated. It gave him time to wake up slow, get his head in order, and dig out the knee brace Oikawa had hidden in his volleyball bag in a corner of his closet. Iwaizumi had clued him into the ongoing battle over strains and pulled muscles and misaligned cartilage, and if he was going to be the temporary owner of this body, he would take _damn_ good care of it. No one would notice it under his pants, and it made the twinging mostly go away.

The tie, however, was another story. There was a reason he was glad Karasuno had gakuran. He had never been able to do it right, and his mom had struggled ever since his dad died to do it for him. He usually did without, but he would rather not see himself lacking an eyebrow next time he and Oikawa met up. He sighed and fought with Oikawa’s lockscreen to go Google it. Maybe if he got it right once, he would be able to just leave it tied on a hanger or something.

He was still fighting with it (and Oikawa’s despondent LINE messages) almost an hour later when the front door opened below and feet came up the stairs to pause at his door to knock. “ _Yo, uh, Sawamura. You ready?_ ”

“Almost.” He throw the stupid tie down on the dresser and crossed to the door to slide it open, smiling at awaiting Iwaizumi. “Do you normally break into Oikawa’s house just to knock at his bedroom door?”

“Well – no.” Iwaizumi cleared his throat. “But I thought you might want – I dunno, boundaries or something.”

Daichi shrugged. “It’s probably best if you treat me like you treat Oikawa, I think. Maybe help us against breaking when there’s others around.”

Iwaizumi set his jaw and nodded, pushing Daichi back so he could come in. “Fine. Then I’ll keep calling you Oikawa so I don’t slip up.” Daichi shrugged as Iwaizumi stepped back to look him over, fists on his hips. “You look good. Probably better than the other guy.” Daichi laughed.

“Yeah, for sure, since he’s currently getting his ass kicked at morning practice. Apparently Suga’s giving him all kinds of grief.” Iwaizumi grinned, and Daichi reached over for the stupid tie. “Can you do these things? I’ve been trying all morning.”

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. “You can’t?”

Daichi held up his hands. “Never had a uniform with them, and there’s always someone else to do it for me.” Iwaizumi shook his head and stepped forward to take it, looping it around the popped collar of Daichi’s shirt.

“Oikawa’s gonna have a field day, me doing his tie for him,” he mumbled as he threw one side around – shook his head and threw it the other way. “Can barely do my own and this bastard’s over here doing trick knots and shit.”

“He’s something else, that’s for sure.” Iwaizumi slid the knot up tight and folded the collar down, fingers brushing Daichi’s neck and sending little shockwaves through him. Iwaizumi missed his eyes blowing wide – oh, they were _really_ close together – as he dug in his pocket for his phone. “Okay, put on the jacket, Oikawa-hime demanded I sent a picture to prove you don’t ‘disgrace the family name’.” Daichi scratched his head and stopped back, bumping into the dresser. What _was_ that?

“Oh, uh, sure.” He shook himself out and threw up a peace sigh with a wink when Iwaizumi pointed his phone’s camera at him, and Iwaizumi snorted over the shutter.

“Beautiful. You’re a natural.” Daichi laughed and rubbed the back of his head, still fighting off the weird aftereffect of Iwaizumi touching him. Was this leftovers of Oikawa, or him, or both? He didn’t have _time_ for this.

Iwaizumi sent it off and stuck his phone back in his pocket, jerking his chin at the door. “C’mon, let’s get you to school.” Daichi gestured for him to lead the way, making a face when Iwaizumi’s back was turned. Oh, he would have to talk to Oikawa about _that_. Later. Once he knew where it came from.

* * *

7:37 AM **actually Sawamura:** so how do I look?  
7:40 AM **actually Oikawa:** I hate you  
7:45 AM **actually Sawamura:** so that good huh  
7:46 AM **actually Oikawa:** how are you not dead already I’ve been killing you in my head for /hours/  
7:48 AM **actually Sawamura:** but if you kill me now you’ll prob be stuck as me  
7:50 AM **actually Oikawa:** I HATE YOU!!!  
7:54 AM **actually Sawamura:**  
7:54 AM **actually Sawamura:** side note: why do you have so many stickers on here  
7:55 AM **actually Oikawa:** because I’m popular and shit  
7:56 AM **actually Samawura:** says the guy who’s only gotten messages from me and Iwaizumi in the last 24 hrs  
7:56 AM **actually Oikawa:** GO DIE

****

“Daichi? Who are you talking to?”

Tooru slammed the phone face-down on his desk, sitting bolt upright as Suga propped a cheek on his hand, watching him with a flat stare. “No one!”

“Uh-huh.” Suga tapped his fingers against his temple, sitting backwards in the desk in front of Tooru’s (location exchanged with a snarky Sawamura for his own and his shoe locker) as they waited for class to start. It was a mixed blessing to have Suga in the same class as him – it was one less of Sawamura’s huge friend circle to remember the name of, but it also meant he had more than to spend trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Oikawa had thought he was smart already, but this morning’s torture by volleyball practice had definitely cemented that ‘crafty’ and ‘spawn of hellfire’ label Sawamura had warned him about. “Then why have you been making faces at your phone all morning?”

“I- I just…” Shit. What was a Sawamura-like excuse for this? “I got a girlfriend,” he blurted out, face hot. Suga’s fingers stopped tapping.

“What?” Tooru slid down in his seat, trying to hide behind the collar of his gakuran. Suga huffed. “Did Michimiya finally ask you out?”

Michimiya, Michimiya – the girls’ team captain? “What? No!” Suga’s forced smile fell into a heavy smirk. “You… you probably don’t know her,” he mumbled.

“ _Right_. Okay.” Suga patted his wrist as the bell rang over the loudspeakers. “You keep telling yourself that.” He turned back around to face the board as Tooru tried to melt through the floor, ears hot. If he wasn’t so busy being angry and embarrassed he might marvel that Sawamura’s body flushed differently than his, but, well, he didn’t. He scowled at his phone under the desk as the teacher came in and the class settled down.

7:57 AM **actually Sawamura:** fight on  
8:00 AM **actually Oikawa:** Fisticuffs. After class  
8:00 AM **actually Sawamura:** You have practice and I have to pick up our nephew from practice  
8:00 AM **actually Oikawa:** MY NEPHEW! MY!!!!  
8:01 AM **actually Sawamura:** If you want him come and claim him  
8:01 AM **actually Oikawa:** I’m going to murder you slowly  
8:02 AM **actually Sawamura:** Try. Classtime. Don’t fail me out or I’ll accept one of the 3 confessions I found in your shoe locker this morning at random  
8:02 AM **actually Oikawa:** Bite me

* * *

Being Sawamura Daichi was _hard_ and Tooru was _sick_ of it. Why did he have to get switched with someone so _popular?_

He escaped to the bathroom during lunch, shedding friends he didn’t know with the most congenial laugh he could muster, waving when he was waved at until he slipped into a stall and collapsed against the wall, pressing his hands over his eyes. Took a deep breath. Another. Dropped his hands to pull his – not his – _whatever_ phone out.

12:09 AM **actually Oikawa:** I want a refund  
12:09 AM **actually Oikawa:** Why do you have to have so many friends??  
12:10 AM **actually Sawamura:** Being you isn’t exactly a cakewalk either  
12:11 AM **actually Sawamura:** And I don’t have that many? I have an average amount of friends  
12:11 AM **actually Oikawa:** Sawamura-kun I can’t walk down the hall without 5 people trying to start a convo  
12:11 AM **actually Oikawa:** way more than half of these aren’t in the script  
12:11 AM **actually Oikawa:** a full refund with interest  
12:12 AM **actually Sawamura:** well at least you don’t have to deal with all these girls all the time  
12:12 AM **actually Sawamura:** I’m running out of ways to be nice to them  
12:13 AM **actually Sawamura:** Why/how do you put up with this? Haven’t they already gotten the point already?  
12:13 AM **actually Oikawa:** I have a form response. I would teach it to you but I won’t actually  
12:14 AM **actually Sawamura:** mature. Do we need to meet up tonight to calm down Oikawa-hime?  
12:14 AM **actually Oikawa:** Fuck you  
12:14 AM **actually Sawamura:** I can wait for you at our nephew’s practice

Banging and yelling outside Tooru’s stall woke him up, shoulders still. But it was just some other students coming in for the bathroom. He sighed, scrubbing a hand over this absurdly short hair, and adjusted his lean on the wall.

12:15 AM **actually Oikawa:** please?  
12:15 AM **actually Sawamura:** since you asked so nicely  
12:16 AM **actually Oikawa:** I still hate you. But thanks  
12:16 AM **actually Sawamura:** one more thing  
12:16 AM **actually Sawamura:** where /is/ your nephew’s practice?

Oikawa looked up at the stall wall opposite him, clicked his phone screen dark with a forceful finger, and stalked out of the bathroom, ignoring the looks from the guys at the urinals. Fuck this whole school.

* * *

12:19 AM **actually Oikawa:** I’m not telling  
12:21 AM **actually Sawamura:** Don’t be like that. Think of the children  
12:22 AM **actually Oikawa:** Takeru is 10 he could figure it out if he wanted to, nee-san is just overprotective

“Y’know, Taka-kun, Captain-kun has been awfully phone-happy today. Think he got a new girlfriend?”

“As if, Issei-kun. We all know no girl can stand him longer than it takes to confess.” Daichi smiled as he sandwiched between two bodies sliding in on the roof edge, turning his phone face-down in his lap, opened his mouth to say something nice and congenial back – closed his mouth. Stuck his nose in the air with a little ‘hmph’. The pink one on his left laughed, tugging his ear. “You know we’re right, heartbreaker-kun.”

“You’re all dead to me.” They both laughed, and he nudged Iwaizumi sitting at their feet in the knee with his shoe. “Iwa-chan, kill them.”

Iwaizumi grinned through his tempura, rice on his face. “Nah. They’re better company than you.” Daichi gasped while the two antagonists laughed, high-fiving over his head. Iwaizumi winked, and Daichi had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing along, ears hot under absurd amount of hair. This awkward crush-y reaction to every move Iwaizumi made could stop at _anytime_ , _Oikawa_.

“Horrible, all of you!” he cried, shriller than he was used to sounding. Curly-haired Issei (who he had been told to call Mattsun) slung his arm around Daichi’s waist, rocking them, pink Taka-called-Makki joining in. Daichi grumbled and tried to eat his (sloppy) bento despite it, pulling his knees up to guard it from slipping off his lap as they started singing some old kid song about dragonflies.

“All right, okay, leave him alone, you monsters,” Iwaizumi said through a laugh, flapping at them with his chopsticks. They didn’t let him go, but they stopped swaying, Makki still humming the song. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but he couldn’t chance a look at his phone in case they saw the contents of his and Oikawa’s conversation. He would have to turn off LINE’s push notifications if he could figure out how. Iwaizumi finished his bento and set it aside, falling back spread-eagle on the concrete with a long sigh, eyes closed in the weak winter sun. Daichi stretched out, the arms around his waist holding him steady as he yawned, fingers twisting in the chain link behind him.

“You two both look like you ran through the ring this morning,” Mattsun said, squeezing Daichi’s waist and kicking the bottom of Iwaizumi’s shoe. “Did you finally confess your sweet, sweet love for each other and consummate it until dawn?”

Daichi coughed, burying it in the back of his hand, while Iwaizumi threw an arm over his face with a groan and Makki giggled. “Fuck _off_ , Matsukawa,” Iwaizumi moaned, kicking back blind and missing. “We just – lotta homework,” he rumbled.

“Oh, is _that_ what they’re calling it these days?” Makki asked, shaking Daichi. “Captain-kun, will you do _my_ homework with me next weekend, then?”

Daichi shot up to his feet, clutching his empty bento and his phone to his chest. All three of them looked up at him, unnecessarily hot cheeks distracting him. “I- I…” _Focus_ , Sawamura. He huffed. “I’m going to find someone who will _appreciate_ me for more than my body,” he said as haughty as he could muster, marching to the rooftop door as Makki and Mattsun cackled behind him.

12:29 PM **actually Sawamura:** You know as ‘awful’ as my team maybe at least they don’t hit on me  
12:30 PM **actually Oikawa:** Speak for yourself I still have bruises from when your pet morons tackled me this morning  
12:32 PM **actually Sawamura:** Yeah you kind of need body armor when they’re around  
12:33 PM **actually Sawamura:** You ready to run practice this afternoon or are you gonna foist it on Suga again? He’ll only help for so long before he starts demanding a salary  
12:35 PM **actually Oikawa:** I’d laugh but I know him by now. I’ll do my best  
12:36 PM **actually Sawamura:** Don’t be mean. They’re used to positive feedback not derisive flirting  
12:36 PM **actually Oikawa:** Do you really think so little of me that you think that’s how I coach?  
12:39 PM **actually Sawamura:** No not really  
12:39 PM **actually Sawamura:** But I don’t trust you having to teach Kageyama and Hinata after last week  
12:40 PM **actually Oikawa:** I guess that’s fair  
12:40 PM **actually Oikawa:** I do wish they would die  
12:40 PM **actually Sawamura:** fears: grounded  
12:42 PM **actually Oikawa:** can I ride them just a /little/ bit harder though  
12:44 PM **actually Oikawa:** like 10 extra laps  
12:44 PM **actually Sawamura:** I’d say no but honestly it might do them some good  
12:45 PM **actually Sawamura:** Just be nice about it  
12:46 PM **actually Sawamura:** Our coach  
12:46 PM **actually Sawamura:** Ukai has the training pretty well tied down so if you play your cards right you won’t have to do much besides count  
12:47 PM **actually Sawamura:** He has trouble making it to the gym in the mornings but he’s always there for afternoon practice  
12:48 PM **actually Oikawa:** oh right the blond guy  
12:48 PM **actually Oikawa:** He’s the old Ukais…  
12:49 PM **actually Sawamura:** Grandson  
12:50 PM **actually Oikawa:** Got it  
12:55 PM **actually Sawamura:** Classtime. Check in before practice  
12:56 PM **actually Oikawa:** Yes Okaa-san  
12:57 PM **actually Sawamura:** And stop calling me that  
12:59 PM **actually Oikawa:** (ノ°∀°)ノ⌒･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*☆

* * *

_Somehow_ , Tooru survived class. It took a lot of crying inside and avoiding Suga’s eye contact, but he made it to the final bell. All he had to do was lie his way through practice and he could track Sawamura down and electrocute him until they switched back because he couldn’t stand another _second_ of this awful, awful life. He was sorely tempted to call in sick and run to the mountains, but he didn’t have the right shoes for it and had no idea what edible plants grew at this time of year, so he had to swallow it and tag along with a chatting Suga had kept messing with him all day, but he was kind enough not to call him out in front of the whole class, just teasing with snickers and sly looks. _Maybe_ he was a good guy, but Tooru wasn’t ready to stop looking at his hair for horns hidden under gray waves.

The beardy ace guy Asahi joined them on the stairs back to the ground level, some of the second years coming up giving him a bit of a berth. Tooru had already figured out he was a big baby, though, and smiled for the first time in hours when Asahi bumped into some poor girl and nearly sent her flying, then scared her by overapology. Suga snickered, finger over his mouth. “I think we oughta get one of those ‘nervous’ dog collars for you so people steer clear,” Tooru commented, leading the way to the clubrooms. He hopped down the last few steps (what an incredible feeling to not have his knee fold under him when he did that), burying his fingers in his scarf as he opened the door with a body slam, pushing against the wind. Suga barked a laugh while Asahi sputtered, face pink.

“That’ll just make it _worse!_ ” Tooru hid a grin in his scarf, cold seeping in the cracks of his clothing as Asahi kept blubbering. “People will think I’m into it or something!”

Tooru bit his cheek and turned to walk backwards, crooked his finger with a crooked grin. “C’mon, boy. Come.”

Suga cracked up, doubling over, heaving with cloud-shattering laughter. Asahi turned a vivid red, fists at his sides and face screwed up like he was about to cry. Tooru winked and spun back around on his heel whistling as he left them behind, Suga collapsing on the pavement as Asahi’s voice started working again, whining and complaining. Tooru hummed. Maybe he could have some fun here after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: What up my dudes I'm behind in this but I could be worse so here's chapter 3 [twitter](http://www.twitter/com/carriecmoney) [tumblr](http://carriecmoney.tumblr.com)}

“Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to show up.”

Tooru didn’t say anything to his own _face_ (he hoped he never got used to seeing it), just dropped his bag between them and collapsed against the gym wall, sliding down it with a long groan. Sawamura laughed overhead, his laugh but _not_ his laugh. “Long day?”

“You have no idea.”

“Maybe I do.” He heard his bag shift and something warm that its place, something long. Tooru sighed and flopped sideways to hide where he was supposed to be. Sawamura stiffened – sighed, patted Tooru on the back in the empty corner between the wall and the floor. “This is really bizarre,” he mumbled, hand heavy on Tooru’s lower back.

Tooru hummed, sitting back up straight as Sawamura’s hand fell to the floor. “It is,” he said, head tilting back against the wall, letting the old familiar sound of shoes squeaking on polished wood and balls bouncing wash over him. It had barely been a week since his high school days had come to an abrupt end, but he already missed that sound. The Karasuno’s solo court gym just wasn’t the same. “How long is this gonna go on?”

“Well, at least until the next thundersnow.” Sawamura stretched with a groan as Tooru’s legs slipped out, hands falling in his lap. “We just need to stake out the highest point in the area with the most power poles and run there whenever it starts to rumble.”

“Hopefully it’s not as freak as you say,” Tooru mumbled. “Not looking forward to graduating as you.” Sawamura sighed, long and low. “Iwa-chan would be disappointed.”

“Not so sure about that. We seem to be getting along just fine.” Tooru elbowed him, and Sawamura grunted, more like a whine. “You two really are close, huh?”

Tooru smiled, eyes still closed and head rolling along the wall behind it. “Hard not to be, when you’ve lived three houses away practically your whole life.” He sighed. “Is he really – okay without me?”

Daichi hummed, a noncommittal noise. “I don’t know him well enough with you around to say.” He drew breath to say something – let it out. “Did take a piece of work to get him to go home and study, though. I know you miss him, but he’s got a vocabulary test on Thursday.”

Tooru snorted. “Don’t I know it. And your mom’s been blowing up my phone. She’s more overprotective than my sis-” He blinked his eyes open and rounded on Sawamura, still jumping a little at his own head glaring back. “You left Iwa-chan to study _alone?_ ”

“You didn’t tell Okaa-san where you were _going?_ ” Sawamura cried, voice cracking. “What’s _wrong_ with you?”

“Me? You-” Sawamura’s face screwed up, flush blotchy, eyes wide and white around his mouth. Tooru failed to hold in a snort or a grin. “Wait, is that _really_ what I look like mad?” Sawamura blinked, and Tooru pressed a palm over his giggles. Sawamura chewed his lip, smile turning up the edges.

“No wonder the whole team’s scared of me.” Tooru chuckled some more, shoulders shaking. Sawamura dragged his (the Karasuno his) bag onto his lap, digging through it. “Oh, here,” he said, tossing Tooru’s actual phone in his lap. “Tell Iwa-chan I’ll help him study when I get back while I apologize for the both of us.”

Tooru did as ordered with a smile, nestling his message in kaomoji so Iwaizumi would know it was him. “Who gave you the right to call him Iwa-chan?” he teased as he tapped out his message.

“He did. Helps sell the bit, y’know.” He pushed the bag off his lap to cross his ankles, waving his foot to the even counts of the drill across the way. “Why don’t you trust him to study alone?”

Tooru shrugged with one shoulder. “Iwaizumi’s always had – focus problems,” he explained. “He’s fine when you make it engaging, but leave him alone and everything but homework will have pencil marks on it. Someone has to keep him on track.”

“Oh? Well, I’ll see what I can do, then. Least I can do for keeping me from making a fool of myself more than I have to.” He wrinkled his nose at his phone. “Dude, you gotta talk to Okaa-san more. Your parents might not be home much, but she is and she worries. Please.”

“Well since you asked so _nicely_.” Sawamura stuck his tongue out at him, while face scrunching with it. “What’s the deal with you too, anyway?”

Sawamura bit his lip, hands falling to his lap. Tooru paused pestering Iwaizumi into studying to look up and catch the distant look, staring at the kids’ drills two empty courts away without seeing. “My dad – died when I was eight,” he said, clicking the side button on his phone like a strobe light. “It’s just been the two of us. Always. I tell her where I am, and she tells me where she is. It’s just how we work.” He flicked hair out of his eyes and tried to smile at Tooru, but he knew what his fake smile looked like. “If it helps, you can think of her as my Iwa-chan.”

Tooru’s eyes flickered over his face, memorized and yet arranged by a different mind – different emotions. He nodded. “Okay. I’ll try.”

They cleaned up their own loose ends and traded phones back, the ambience of the local gym setting in. Normally all the courts were taken, but a smaller class turnout and an upcoming elementary tournament meant lessons had squeezed onto two of the four courts available for fifteen point scrimmages. The court Sawamura had chosen as their hiding spot was the farthest from the action, plenty of room to talk about insane things, but Tooru’s foot was twitching to move. Even after double practice, this body had energy to spare.

Sawamura tapped his phone on his leg. “Wonder if I can serve like you in this body?”

Tooru snorted. “Fat chance.” Sawamura grinned, eyes dancing.

“Wanna bet?”

* * *

It was easy, borrowing a ball bin with a smile for the kids’ coach and setting up shop on the court farthest from small heads to bash in. Sawamura’s volleyball shoes were too small for Tooru’s real feet, but he kept practice sneakers in his bag no matter what, and they would service for a simple serve test. Sawamura tossed off his jacket and sweater to roll up his sleeves (after Tooru yelled at him to stop wrinkling his cuffs like an animal) as Tooru rolled a ball up his arm to his shoulder, bouncing it into his other hand. “Do you even know _how_ to jump serve?” he asked, trying to palm the volleyball – scowling when it slipped to the ground. “Curse these tiny hands of yours.”

Sawamura shrugged, spinning a different ball in his hands. “I know the basics, but I’ve never made it work beyond luck. I always overshoot.” He grinned, head tilting. “Serving’s not exactly my strength.”

“Serviceable, but not remarkable.” Sawamura admitted to it with a handwave. Tooru stepped back, ball propped against his hip. “Okay, let’s see what you got.”

Sawamura nodded and stepped to the back line, then took a few big steps back. Tooru shook his head. “Keep going, Captain-kun.” Sawamura raised an eyebrow, but took a few more back and looked to Tooru, who nodded. Sawamura shook it out, hopping a few times in place, let out a deep breath.

Tooru bit his lip as he watched his body do the perfect form he had only seen on tape, feet almost eye-level, breath caught in his head as sound wiped out. Hand made contact-

Ball met net. Sawamura stumbled as he landed, catching before his right knee could slam down too hard, pouting at it. “Shoot.” He propped his fists on his hips, frowning at the net. “That _did_ feel really good, though. I see the appeal.” He spun to Tooru, hands wide at his sides. “So?”

Tooru shook himself with little. “Not bad. Now let’s see you get it over the net-” He grinned. “And then I can try out these hole-filling receives you’ve got.” Sawamura laughed, clear and high; Tooru responded with Sawamura’s own throaty chuckle and jogged to the other side, taking a stance in the back middle as Sawamura bounced a ball just to catch it. He beckoned Sawamura on, and he could just see the flash of teeth with his grin. He set his stance, loose and ready. “Do your worst!”

“Don’t test me, troublemaker-kun!” Tooru laughed as Sawamura started his runup, eyes alight and oh fuck that was _fast-_

His body was there before his head could catch up, arms in position to receive just in time. The ball slammed into his forearms like a barreling Rottweiler, knocking Tooru to his unpadded knees as it arched back to the net, bouncing to a roll back to Sawamura. He sat down, staring at this weird, unpained, marvelous body. “Whoa.” He wasn’t _bad_ at receiving normally, and it was literally impossible to have experience with his own serves, but he could smell that this was different. Sturdier. Like his arms were stupid tree trunks or something. He scowled across the court. “Hey! Screw you!”

“Now you know how everyone else feels!” Sawamura called back, laughing. “Don’t you wanna see if it’s a fluke or not?” Tooru flapped a hand in his direction, jogging over to their discarded bags to dig for Sawamura’s kneepads. If they were doing this, he needed to be somewhat properly equipped.

They didn’t get it perfect every time. Sawamura hit it into the net or out of bounds more often than he got it in, and when Tooru tried to think about it instead of letting this body take over he was a second late or it ricocheted to the opposite direction of helpful. Sawamura didn’t get frustrated, though, but got _better_ , aim improving faster than Tooru would have thought possible, teasing Tooru into letting go and letting Sawamura’s muscle memory guide him. Tooru kept laughing as he bruised, legs keeping up long after his own would have given up, trying flashier moves he had never seen Sawamura try in a game just to catch the shock on Sawamura’s face. He had gone through the unpleasant discovery of how limited Sawamura’s range of motion was by almost tearing him hamstring stretching for morning practice, but whatever the harm in tearing his limits and pushing at them just a little?

They played through the bin, bickering and taunting across the court. When they paused to gather the balls up, though, they got help, a few of the kids running in with happy chatters. Tooru blinked and looked over to the practice – the ended practice. The kids’ coaches were watching from the sidelines. The head coach started clapping, smiling at Sawamura.

“Beautiful work, as always, Oikawa-kun.” Tooru started to reply, but Sawamura smiled and bowed before he could. “Who’s your friend today?” he asked, gesturing to Tooru. Sawamura faltered, but Tooru stepped up, flashing Sawamura’s charming smile with a bow.

“Sorry for the intrusion, coach. I’m – Sawamura Daichi,” he said, teeth only grit a little. He slapped Sawamura on the back, making him stumble forward. “Just had to show Oikawa here that he’s not all-powerful.”

Sawamura rolled his eyes. “Thanks, but I think you already _did_ that.” He leant back against the mat around the net pole, jerking a thumb at Tooru. “This pretty thing here is the Karasuno captain,” he drawled, face tight. The coaches looked at Tooru with raised eyebrows.

“Karasuno? The prefecture representatives this year?” Tooru winced – smiled, scratching his scalp.

“One and the same.” The head coach, who had been working with Tooru in various respects for years, raised a heavy eyebrow at Sawamura.

“Oikawa-kun, you learned forgiveness overnight. I never thought I would see the day.”

Sawamura sighed, almost swooning against the pole. “I made my peace, Kanto-kun. Don’t tempt me to lose it.” The coach chuckled, the assistant covering a smile with two fingers. Tooru stared, mouth a little open, as Sawamura flapped a hand at Tooru. “If _someone_ has to beat me,” he whined, “I better make sure they’re as ready as they can be not to disappoint.”

“Forgiveness _and_ maturity. Miracles do happen.” Sawamura squawked as Tooru crossed his arms, trying not to scowl. He was not _petty_ or _immature_. Without reason. The coach nodded at Tooru. “It’s nice to meet you, Sawamura-kun. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” He forced a smile. “It wasn’t easy.”

“Of course not. You had to beat Shiratorizawa, after all.” When Sawamura glared at him, he waved it off. “Oh, and some other people, I’m sure.”

“Rude,” they said in unison. Tooru raised an eyebrow while Sawamura stuck his tongue out in response.

“Uncle Tooru!” Sawamura looked down at the demon child hanging from his elbow. “Uncle Tooru, you gotta show off again! That was _fun!_ ”

Sawamura laughed. “Oh yeah?” He bent to pick Takeru up by the knees, lifting him like a cheerleader with only a little grunting, Takeru’s arms swinging around his neck with his squeak. “You don’t wanna go home and eat? Your mom said there would be curry waiting.”

Takeru shook his head, legs swinging from his seat on Sawamura’s arm. “Nah. It’s really funny watching you get your ass kicked.”

Sawamura gasped as Tooru laughed. “ _Language_ , young man!” Takeru rolled his eyes and gave enough struggle for Sawamura to let him down to his feet, rubbing his shaved head for luck. He looked to the coaches, eyes flicking to Tooru. “We got time for another round?”

“Sure, we’re the last ones in here tonight. Something for the stragglers to watch until they get picked up.” He nodded at the bin, already collected by a handful of overeager young faces. “You’ve got a captive audience.”

Sawamura winked at Tooru. “What do you say, Sawamura? Ready to get your ass handed to you, as Takeru here would say?”

Tooru cracked his knuckles, which made a satisfying pop. “Oh, you’re on, pretty boy.”

* * *

“Okaa-chan! We’re home!”

Daichi looked around Oikawa’s sister’s house as Takeru barged in, kicking off his shoes and dumping his bag under the coat rack. He took off his shoes with slightly more grace, watching as Takeru ran past a lady in her thirties with pretty dark hair and a critical pout. She didn’t look anything like Oikawa in the face, but she carried herself like Oikawa at his most haughty. “Where were you this weekend? You’re supposed to come over for dinner when Okaa-san and Oto-san aren’t home,” she chided. Daichi tried to smile – they hadn’t really set up ground rules for how Oikawa interacted with his family. Time for some read blocking.

“Sorry, nee-san! I had a few friends over and we got caught up studying!” She ‘hmph’ed and slapped the wooden spoon in her hand against her other palm. His shoulders came up to hide his ears. “It won’t happen again?”

“It better not.” She pointed at him with the spoon. “ _Call_ next time you’ve going to flake out two days in a row.” He bowed with his nod, and she spun around to start nagging Takeru to wash his filthy hands before they ate. Daichi sighed, shoulders sagging, and pulled out his phone.

19:36 PM **actually Sawamura:** note to us: we need to talk about family next meetup  
19:39 PM **actually Oikawa:** agreed  
19:40 PM **actually Oikawa:** your mom /hovers/  
19:43 PM **actually Sawamura:** it’s called ‘spending time together’. You should try it sometime  
19:44 PM **actually Oikawa:** seems I don’t have a choice  
19:44 PM **actually Oikawa:** don’t you ever get /any/ alone time  
19:46 PM **actually Sawamura:** when I do my homework  
19:47 PM **actually Oikawa:** mmmmmmmmmhhh  
19:48 PM **actually Sawamura:** just watch the news with her and pretend like you like it like I’m pretending to like your sister’s curry  
19:48 PM **actually Oikawa:** ouch. Fine  
19:48 PM **actually Oikawa:** soy sauce usually helps  
19:49 PM **actually Sawamura:** why on earth would you add soy sauce to curry  
19:51 PM **actually Oikawa:** don’t fight with facts. Try it  
19:51 PM **actually Sawamura:** guess it couldn’t get any worse  
19:57 PM **actually Sawamura:** before I fuck up, who’s Takeru’s dad?  
19:58 PM **actually Oikawa:** asshole. Divorced 4 years ago. Did something boring in insurance. Don’t ask about him or you’ll be there all night listening to her bitch  
19:59 PM **actually Sawamura:** thanks. Does he still see Takeru?  
20:01 PM **actually Oikawa:** not as much as he’s supposed to, mixed blessing  
20:01 PM **actually Oikawa:** Tak hasn’t learned he’s an ass yet  
20:06 PM **actually Oikawa:** You said your dad died a while back. Your mom seen anyone since?  
20:08 PM **actually Sawamura:** Oikawa you don’t want to go down this path  
20:09 PM **actually Oikawa:** just saying, maybe if she started dating I/you could get some alone time  
20:09 PM **actually Sawamura:** You try to set her up with /anyone/ and I will never wash your face or your hair again  
20:09 PM **actually Oikawa:** you /monster/  
20:12 PM **actually Oikawa:** what’s wrong with a /date/? It doesn’t hurt anything  
20:14 PM **actually Sawamura:** and how would you feel if Iwaizumi got a date  
20:15 PM **actually Oikawa:** low blow Sawa-chan  
20:18 PM **actually Sawamura:** we need to talk about how this stupid body reacts to him touching you  
20:23 PM **actually Oikawa:** Presently, the number you are calling cannot be reached. Please try to call again later.  
20:24 PM **actually Sawamura:** this isn’t over  
20:25 PM **actually Oikawa:** I’m sorry I have to do your homework now. You should do mine or I’ll sign her up for speeddating  
20:28 PM **actually Sawamura:** I’ll just got see how Iwa-chan is doing studying then  
20:28 PM **actually Oikawa:** keep calling him that and Die  
20:31 PM **actually Sawamura:**

* * *

****

“So,” Suga said on the walk to school the next morning, banging into Tooru’s side with his arrival at their meeting spot. “I gotta know. Aliens or spirits?”

****

“Aliens, obviously.” Tooru looked up from his phone with a few blinks. “I mean, what?”

****

“Well, I’ve been wondering what’s been up with you lately,” he began, kicking a rock down the sidewalk as they walked on, “and those two things are the only things I can imagine. Either you got abducted and replaced with a humanoid robot or you’re possessed by a ghost on their very first attempt.”

****

Tooru groaned his teeth, glaring at the lamppost at the end of the block. “I’m never gonna hear the end of this,“ he grumbled.

****

“What, on the mothership or in the temple?” Tooru pulled at his hair. “Daichi? Or, whoever you are?”

****

Tooru huffed. “It was lightning.”

****

Suga snorted. “What?”

****

Tooru sighed, pausing on the sidewalk to bury his face in his hands. “I’m not Sawamura,” he mumbled. “We… fuck.”

****

Suga’s hand laid on his elbow. “Calm down, Dai, I was just joking-”

****

“No, you’re not!” Suga sat him down on the sidewalk wall behind them. “But it’s – not aliens. Or spirits.” He dropped his hands and met Suga’s worried eyes. “I’m Oikawa Tooru,” he said, a trickle of tension leaking away.

****

Suga’s mouth dropped open. “ _What?_ ”

****

Tooru groaned, knocking his head back into the leafless bushes and barely flinching when twigs poked his scalp and back. “Look, just…” He fumbled his phone out and thumbed to his and Sawamura’s LINE conversation, handing it over for Suga to read.

****

Suga read in silence, eyes wide. “Holy shit.” Tooru nodded, shrugged. “So that means Daichi’s really… you?” Tooru waved a hand. “Holy _shit_.” He sat down hard next to Tooru. “What _happened?_ ”

****

“We got struck by lightning the other night,” Tooru mumbled into his scarf. “He was walking me home-”

****

“Wait, what? Sorry, but-”

****

“We ran into each other at my manga café,” he said with a hand wave. “It was all very happenstance.” He pulled a leg up to hug it to his chest, resting his chin on his knee to glare at the house across the street. “I was just going to get his email address so I could make sure y’all crushed everyone at Nationals,” he grumbled, “and now I may be _doing_ the crushing.” Suga let out a long breath, leaning on his bag for support. “Well then.” He ruffled his hair. “I’d say that’s too crazy to be true,” he said, “but Daichi’s a shit liar, and if you were really a spirit or an alien or whatever you would deny it or make up _something_ believable.” Tooru hummed. “Does make sense why you were glaring at Kageyama all practice yesterday.”

****

“Dai-chan expressly forbade me from calling anyone names,” he whined. Suga chuckled.

****

“Oh, yeah, you’re definitely Oikawa.” He hopped off the wall, rearranging his bag and coat while Tooru got to his feet as well. “Anyone else know?”

****

“Just Iwa-chan.” At Suga’s blank look, he stuttered, “Um. Iwaizumi. My… childhood friend?”

****

“Oh, right, your ace, right?” Tooru nodded. “And Daichi didn’t want to tell me?”

****

“Well, uh. When I woke up like this Sunday, I… panicked. When I panic, Iwa-chan calms me down.” He sighed as they started walking again. “I guess we didn’t give him much time to think about who on his side would find out.”

****

“Well, if you keep going like you’re going, it won’t be long until the whole school figures it out.” He sighed. “I guess it’s my civic duty to assist your cause.”

****

Tooru stared at his profile in the early dawn, smile in his eye and hair lifting in the breeze. It would be _so_ nice to have an ally. “What’s the catch?” he drawled, eyes narrowed. Suga laughed.

****

“Oh, Oikawa, not everything comes with strings!” Tooru pursed his lips and Suga grinned. “I just want to see what happens when you two are in the same room, s’all.” Tooru groaned, and Suga laughed again, elbowing him in the side _hard_ , ignoring his pained cry. “Oh, lighten up, _Sawamura-san_ ,” he said, voices shaking a little. “What can you do besides have fun with it?”

****

“Not much,” Tooru admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets. Suga glanced at him – shook his head.

****

“Okay, listen up.” Tooru tilted his head. “If you don’t want people to try to exorcise you behind your back, you’re going to have to stop _moping_.” He slapped Tooru’s back. “Daichi only slouches when he’s really tired.” Tooru straightened his posture with a glare. “And _smile more_. Or don’t try to pout, at least. It doesn’t work on his face.”

****

Tooru rolled his eyes. “Why does everyone feel like they need to be my mom these days?”

****

“It takes a village.” Tooru huffed, and Suga giggled. “Okay, sourpuss, let’s see what we can fix before we get to school.” Suga started criticizing his appearance and manners, messing up the hair Tooru had tried to comb that morning. Tooru grumbled, but didn’t fight the advice. He would need it.

****


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: I'm behind [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/carriecmoney) [tumblr](http://carriecmoney.tumblr.com)}

6:04 AM **actually Oikawa:** so Suga figured it out  
6:07 AM **actually Sawamura:** he what  
6:08 AM **actually Oikawa:** he uh. Called me out cold. So I told him  
6:09 AM **actually Oikawa:** he thought you had gotten possessed and/or abducted  
6:09 AM **actually Sawamura:** well he’s not totally wrong  
6:10 AM **actually Sawamura:** wow, not even 24 hours  
6:11 AM **actually Oikawa:** fuck off Sawa-chan you’ve got help  
6:11 AM **actually Sawamura:** help that I appreciate  
6:12 AM **actually Sawamura:** you were right about Hajime’s study habits  
6:12 AM **actually Oikawa:** HAJIME????  
6:13 AM **actually Sawamura:** well you told me to stop calling him Iwa-chan  
6:13 AM **actually Oikawa:** GIVE ME MY BODY BACK  
6:15 AM **actually Sawamura:** Gladly  
6:16 AM **actually Sawamura:** After your practice we’ll go stormchasing, should be successful in November  
6:17 AM **actually Oikawa:** DIE

 **Tues, Nov 6**  
6:31 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** Hi Suga  
7:44 AM **sugasuga** **:** oh my  
7:44 AM **sugasuga:** you absolute moron  
7:46 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** it’s not my fault!  
7:47 AM **sugasuga** **:** you’re still an idiot but at least now I know why you were so crabby yesterday  
7:47 AM **sugasuga** **:** why didn’t you tell me  
7:49 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** honestly. I forgot  
7:50 AM **sugasuga** **:** you nuthead ****  
7:52 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** be honest. How is he  
7:53 AM **sugasuga** **:** bad  
7:53 AM **sugasuga** **:** he almost made Tanaka cry  
7:54 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** well he’s always been emotional  
7:54 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** he’s not hitting on Shimizu is he?  
7:55 AM **sugasuga** **:** no but now that I know I can tell he wants to  
7:56 AM **sugasuga** **:** he needs training  
7:56 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** tell me about it  
7:57 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** I have iwaizumi checking my every move so it’s only fair that you return the favor. Please  
7:58 AM **sugasuga** **:** and what do /I/ get out of it?  
7:59 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** my love and gratitude ****  
7:59 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** and a new person to torment  
8:01 AM **sugasuga** **:** you know the way to my heart Sawamura  
8:02 AM **sugasuga** **:** I’ll take him to curry after practice if you and your valet want to attend :3c  
8:04 AM **Oikawa Daichi** **:** don’t do it suga  
8:05 AM **Oikawa Daichi** **:** don’t treat me like this  
8:05 AM **sugasuga** **:** it’s not you just your tastebuds  
8:05 AM **sugasuga** **:** talk after class!  
8:06 AM **Oikawa Daichi** **:** you’re a demon and I feel sorry for Oikawa

* * *

It was tiring to be Oikawa, but Daichi was maybe getting the hang of it. He had learned how to laugh right, when he was supposed to scoff and sneer. Iwaizumi was worth his weight in gold, nudging him or passing a note when needed, a steady hand to keep him straight. He couldn’t fault Oikawa for crumbling to Suga like ‘wet paper’, as Suga described. He didn’t know if he would have held out any longer without someone to help.

They were walking down the stairs from the roof after lunch when a girl in a high ponytail and cute shoes blocked their way in the landing. She tugged at her bow. “Um, Oikawa-san?”

Iwaizumi touched his elbow. “Her name’s Sato Kotone,” he mumbled behind his shoulder. “I’ll see you later.”

Daichi tried to reach back and snatch him, but Iwaizumi was too quick and hopped down the stairs with the last of the roof lunch crowd, whistling. He winced – turned back to the girl. “Uh, hello, Sa- Kotone-chan! Nice day, huh?” _Stupid_.

But she nodded, lip bit to hell. “Um…” She whipped her hidden hand from behind her back and held it out to him, bowed at a severe angle. “I like you! Will you go out with me?”

“Uh-um, well…” Shit, it had been a long time since he had to handle one of these in person. “I… I’m sorry, Kotone. Chan.”

Her hands trembled, bangs covering her eyes shaking. “Oh.” She sniffed, and Daichi jumped into action, cupping her elbow for support. “Oikawa-san-”

“Hey, don’t cry.” She sniffed again, wiped her face on her shoulder. He led her back to the stairs to sit her down three up, sitting next to her and rubbing her arms. “Don’t cry, Sato-san.”

“I’m sorry, Oikawa-san, I just…” She took out her handkerchief to wipe her eyes. “I dunno why I thought this would be different.”

“It’s… not on you, Sato-san. Chan.” He patted her shoulder, folding his stupid long legs out of the way. “I’m just – not in the right place right now.”

She sniffed, choking on a sob. “I just, I thought if… If I could have a boyfriend, even for a little while, it would make-” She shook her head. “Never mind.”

Daichi tilted his head. “Make what?” She kept shaking her head, red eyes staring out the landing window. The hallway below bubbled with lunchtime voices, but their rooftop stair was empty, just Daichi and some crying girl he didn’t know. He set his jaw. “I may not be able to accept your confession,” he said, “but I can still listen. If you’d like.”

She folded her hands in her lap, playing with the folded-in flap of her confession note. “It’s nothing, really. I just…” She wiped at her eyes, trying to laugh. “You know when you think one thing will just solve the other, even when you _know_ it won’t?”

He bit his cheek against his own, self-mocking laugh. Not the time. “I think we’ve all been there.”

“I really hoped…” She bit her lip, eyes still leaking. “Okaa-san and Oto-san are getting divorced. Okaa-san hasn’t lived with us in _months_. They don’t talk when they see each other. Oto-san gets drunk watching dramas and yells about how it’s all fake.” She blinked a few times, fat tears rolling down to catch on her lip. She licked them away. “I thought, maybe, I could prove them wrong, but…” She shook her head, the hair framing her face sticking to her cheeks. Daichi slid in to take her handkerchief and wipe them away.

“It’s not your fault, Sato-chan. Don’t ever think that.” She looked at him, eyes brighter for being red and wet. He smiled, stomach fluttering. “Trying to force love when it’s not there is when stuff like divorce happens. Doing something like confessing to prove something isn’t being fair, is it?”

She laughed on a sob, jerking with it and covering it with the back of her hand. “No. I guess it isn’t.” She looked away. “Sorry for just dumping that all on you like that,” she mumbled. He waved it off.

“Don’t worry, I get it all – well, it happens.” He sat by her as her tears slowed, then stood and offered a hand to help her up as the warning bell rang for end of lunch. “If you need to talk about it in the future,” he said, patting her hand with a smile, “I’m all ears.”

Her mouth quivered, not quite a smile. “Thanks, Oikawa-san.” She looked down at the crumpled envelope in her other hand, tears smudging the ink on the front. She smiled for real. “I’m gonna hold onto this, I think.”

“Do that. I’m sure you’ll find someone worthy to take it when it’s right.” She bobbed in a quick bow, then ran down the stairs, ponytail bouncing with each step. He propped his fists on his hips, watching her go with a little smile – oh, shit, he was about to be late. He ran down after her, waving when they went into their own classrooms. She curled her fingers back at him, face pink.

* * *

Tooru had been warned about Suga’s crafty nature. He just didn’t realize how far it would go.

“You’re _evil_ ,” he hissed. Suga shrugged.

“Sticks and stones, Dai-san.” He shoved a red penny at him with a wink. “Try not to kill Kageyama before my side can demolish yours.” Tooru wrinkled his nose at him, but Suga just laughed and flounced off to the yellow side of the practice-ending scrimmage, looping his arms around Tanaka and Hinata’s necks to pull them in close. Tooru scowled after him.

“Sawamura-kun?” Tooru waved off the coach’s nagging and jogged over to the red side, pulling on the penny over his sweat-sticky shirt, glancing around the loose circle. He had Kageyama (unfortunate), Asahi, the tall blond glasses kid, not-Yahaba, and the calmer version of Tanaka to Suga’s lineup of Tanaka, Hinata, the freckly jump floater, Noya, and the other second year benchwarmer he kind of knew the name of. He cracked his knuckles as he approached them, all of them looking to him for guidance. He smiled.

“Okay, boys. Let’s crush ‘em.” Asahi paled.

Ukai starting rotations had it opening with Oikawa’s serve. He desperately wanted to do a jump serve, but the few times he had tried it in this body during open serve practice had flown wild and felt so _wrong_ he didn’t want to try one in a game, even a practice one. He could swallow his pride for a normal overhead, for now.

The ball bounced around the other side, Suga setting to Hinata. Ennoshita picked it up, calling for the bad angle. Tooru moved in – he could make it work –

Someone stepped on the back of his shoe, yanking his foot out of it and making him stumble and fall to the court under the weight of someone heavy, wincing as the ball bounced away. Hands pushed at his shoulders as the person he had crashed into tried to extricate himself from their tangle, muttering apologies. Someone else shoved a hand in his face that he fumbled for, letting them pull him to his feet – Asahi. “What was that?” he asked, thick eyebrows drawn. Tooru opened his mouth – shit, he had tried to set, hadn’t he?

“Sawamura-san?” Tooru flinched at Kageyama’s unfailingly polite tone, grimacing as everyone stared at him.

“Get caught up there, did you, _Daichi-san?_ ” He whipped to glare at Suga, who had his arms threaded through the net so he could lean on the bottom seam and grin at him. He winked, and Tooru huffed. Suga nodded at Kageyama, still waiting, lips thin. He faced him and dug his nonexistent nails into his palms as he nodded the smallest bow he could at Kageyama.

“Sorry, T- Kageyama,” he forced out. “Must have been thinking about something else.” He jogged to the backline, ears burning as Ukai clapped them back to order, the moment shoved away. He tried to ignore Suga’s snickers as the other side did a quick huddle, probably to try and capitalize on Daichi’s ‘distraction’. Oh, he was going to pay for that.

* * *

“I can’t believe you _won_. You were _terrible!_ ”

“Don’t hate the player, hate the sauce!”

Daichi looked across Suga’s favorite curry spot to his usual table and blinked at his own face looking smugger than he had ever felt. That would _never_ feel normal. Iwaizumi splayed a hand over his back and pushed him in the door, laughing behind him. “Starstruck?”

“Stop it.” He wove through tables to Suga’s corner booth, putting on his best Oikawa smile as he leant on the bench behind Suga. “Fancy seeing you two here,” he said with a wink at Oikawa. Suga whipped up from teasing Oikawa, blinking at him, mouth slightly open. His mouth twitched. “Hey, Suga.”

Suga’s face screwed up as he punched Daichi in the stomach so he doubled over with a cough. Oikawa gasped. “Hey! Don’t treat me like that!”

“You wet piece of _toast!_ ” Suga snapped, ignoring Oikawa to punch Daichi again, then drag him down into the booth, clumsy so Daichi fell over him. Suga pushed him around to sit right, laughing under his breath as his gaze kept catching on Daichi’s face. “Wow,” he breathed.

“Yup.” Iwaizumi slid in next to Oikawa, who buried his face in his sweatshirt hood without preamble, arm flying around Iwaizumi’s waist. He rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry about this, Sugawara,” he said, patting Oikawa’ back and it was so _weird_ watching Daichi’s own body snuggle up to someone like that. “He’s a bit of a drama queen.”

Suga huffed. “Just a bit?” Iwaizumi grinned when Oikawa made a strange wail Daichi didn’t know his throat could produce. Suga bumped Daichi’s shoulder. “You’re not _this_ awful when you have to be him, right?”

“I don’t think I could be if I wanted to.” He glanced down at the menu pressed under the glass top. “You haven’t ordered yet, have you?”

“Oh, Daichi, of course I have.” He smiled, and Daichi groaned. Iwaizumi kicked him under the table, raising his eyebrow when he looked up, Oikawa still wrapped around him and crying about things too muffled for Daichi to make out. Suga sighed and reached over him to press the button at the end of the table even though the waiter was already on his way over “You have so little faith in me,” he sighed.

“No, I know _exactly_ what you’re capable of. That’s why I watch my food.” He reached one of his long legs over to nudge Oikawa’s ankle. “Get up. Did Suga order for you?”

Oikawa extracted himself from his hold on Iwaizumi to blink at Daichi. “Uh, yeah, he said he knew what was good here. Why?”

Daichi glanced at Suga’s big grin and stood his head as the waiter got to them. “Learn the hard way.”

He and Iwaizumi ordered, then they all sat right in the booth, Oikawa only leaning a little into Iwaizumi. Suga sat forward, lacing his fingers together as he looked at all three of them. “Okay.” He glanced between Oikawa and Daichi, head shaking like he was watching a tennis game. “Does this ever stop being weird?”

“No,” all three of them said at once.

He snorted, not quite a laugh. “Okay, great.” He tapped his fists on the table, chewing on his tongue. “Should we, like, set a threshold for when we’re gonna stop waiting it out and ask for professional help? I mean, I don’t want Daichi dissected on Oikawa’s behalf-”

“ _Hey-_ ”

“ _But_.” He tennis-courted between them. “I can’t be alone in being terrified of this being permanent.”

Daichi winced while Oikawa grimaced and Iwaizumi looked away. “We… hadn’t talked about that yet,” Daichi admitted, tugging out his tie so he could breathe (but not enough to undo the two-day knot). “For now our plan is to run around outside in the next thunderstorm holding up a lightning rod but…”

“Who _knows_ when that’ll happen.” Oikawa leant back in his seat and kicked up his feet on the cushion between Suga and the wall – tried to. His heels clunked to the floor under the table, but he just scowled and slid further down so Daichi’s real, shorter legs could reach. “I say we give it two storms,” he grumbled into his jacket collar. “If we can’t figure it out by then, we’ll… find a curious grad student or something.”

Daichi glanced at Iwaizumi, who gave a little nod. “Works for me,” Daichi answered. His mouth twitched. “But it means we’ll have to drop everything and run into each other’s arms at the first rumble.” Iwaizumi snorted, and Suga choked on his water. Oikawa just rolled his eyes.

“Oh, bite me, Sawamura.” Daichi grinned, patting Suga on the back as he got his pipes flowing correctly again. Oikawa pitched sideways into Iwaizumi. “Iwa-chan, they’re being _mean_ to me,” he whined, the tone strained in Daichi’s voice.

Iwaizumi scratched his head, Oikawa’s eyelashes fluttering under the attention. “I know, I know. Suck it up.” Oikawa gasped as the waiter showed up with Suga and Oikawa’s food, twin orders that smelled like Suga’s special favorite. Oikawa perked up at the food, grabbing his fork to dig in as Suga watched, smiling around his own first mouthful. Daichi lifted a hand to get the waiter’s attention before he left.

“Could we get some bread over here?” he asked as Oikawa stuck a heaping forkful in his mouth – started flapping at it with his free hand, mouth open as his eyes started tearing up. The waiter glanced at Oikawa and grinned as he lunged for his water, coughing as Suga cackled and Iwaizumi watched the whole thing like they were preschoolers fighting at the end of a long day. The waiter nodded, chuckling as he went back to the kitchen. Oikawa managed to swallow the extra spicy curry, glaring at Suga through streaming eyes. “You _monster_ ,” he hissed, voice cracking. Suga just shrugged.

“Don’t hate the player, hate the sauce, right?” Oikawa kicked him as Iwaizumi snickered, Suga sitting pretty and eating without morals or conscience. Daichi shook his head and passed Oikawa his own water.

* * *

After Oikawa survived dinner, they headed out, Oikawa gravitating to Iwaizumi’s side while Daichi and Suga drifted behind. He watched the back of his own head bob around as Oikawa bickered with Iwaizumi, jumping around him and always keeping a hand somewhere touching him. Daichi huffed.

“It’s weird, having to look up to you like this.” Daichi glanced down at Suga, who smiled, edge tucked away for the moment. “How are you, really?”

He sighed. “As well as I can be.” He pulled the knot of Oikawa’s expensive scarf tighter. “Honestly, I miss everyone as much as I miss being me.” He shoved his hands back in his overcoat pockets – why was Oikawa the type to wear _overcoats_? “Is the team okay?”

“Sure, sure. It’s not like you died, after all.” He shrugged. “Oikawa did almost flatten Kageyama today-”

“He _what?_ ”

“On _accident_ ,” Suga continued. “But it’s not like a few kinks in a practice raises a lot of attention.” He shook his head. “Can’t believe this is really _happening_ ,” he said through a bitter laugh. “And with _Oikawa_?”

Daichi laughed. “Karma’s a bitch.”

“Where did you even _find_ him?”

Daichi shrugged. “Ran into him at my other manga café. He’s not so bad, if you come at him from the right angle.” He elbowed Suga’s upper arm. “Please don’t be _too_ mean to him. I don’t want to switch out of this achy body to another achy body.”

Suga laughed, eyes crinkling.  “Well, all right, if you insist.” His eyes twinkled in the streetlamp light. “You can’t stop me from giving him a _little_ grief.”

“And I wouldn’t want to. Just don’t make it lasting.” Suga flicked a salute with a _hai_ as they got to the corner where their paths split, Iwaizumi and Daichi to the dark Oikawa house and Suga taking Oikawa to the Sawamuras to study and improve his acting. Suga gave Daichi a quick side hug while Oikawa cried into Iwaizumi’s jacket. “Take care of me,” Daichi muttered.

“Oh, stop it.” Suga shoved Daichi away and grabbed Oikawa by the elbow, dragging him down the hill as he wailed like a child being dropped off at their first day of school, waving for Iwaizumi like his mother. Iwaizumi sighed and spun on his heel, marching off so Daichi had to hop to keep up. Iwaizumi’s shoulders hunched up, ears red over his scowl. Daichi tried to smile.

“Y’know, it’s okay if you miss him,” he said to a grunt from Iwaizumi.

“I don’t _miss him_ ,” he growled, and Daichi grinned. He flicked his eyes at Daichi, and a smile tugged at his eyes. “Maybe a little. But don’t tell him that.”

“Of course not.” They smiled at each other, lights catching in Iwaizumi’s hazel eyes making them shine green-

Daichi’s foot slipped on some ice, jerking his leg under him and twisting his knee with a stab shooting up his leg. He cried out, clutching it, as Iwaizumi rushed to catch him, holding him up from falling. “I _hate_ this stupid _knee_ ,” he ground out between clenched teeth, eyes welling up. Iwaizumi shushed him, moving to his other side for him to lean on.

“You’re not alone. C’mon, let’s get home and we’ll ice it while we study.” Daichi nodded, head still swimming, but Iwaizumi coached him through leaning on him for support, a steady crutch as they limped on into the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: And with this I both lose my buffer and officially give up on winning nanowrimo :'D Still gonna finish this up tho! just in my own time. [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/carriecmoney) [tumblr](http://carriecmoney.tumblr.com)}

Another dawn, another day of being Sawamura Daichi. Tooru hated that he was almost getting used to waking up freezing. He missed his own bed. Still, this body seemed to like this bed. He would just have to find the linen closet, or steal a blanket from the guest bedroom. And, while being Sawamura Daichi had many, _many_ drawbacks, it didn’t come without its perks.

“ _Dai-chan! Breakfast is ready!_ ”

Tooru tumbled down the stairs to the kitchen, sliding in on his socks to slam into the island. Sawamura’s mom chuckled, mixing up something hot in a thermos. “Excited this morning, are we?”

“Yeah!” He didn’t even sit down before digging in, slurping up the seasoned fried egg in one go. Any mom who took the time to season fried eggs was worth any torture, and last night’s acting lessons that turned into a talk about the practice schedules pinned to Sawamura’s bedroom walls had him raring to test his theories out. “Got a lot planned for practice today!”

“Oh, do you now?” She leant on the island as he finally sat on the barstool proper to shove rice in his face, already reaching for the bacon she was sliding across the counter. “You’ll have to tell me about it tonight.”

He swallowed to tell her he might not be back until late – Suga had promised him more acting lessons – but when he looked at her sparkling brown eyes, he smiled, melting into the stool. “Sure, Okaa-san. It’s a date.”

Her crow’s feet deepened, and she turned on the blender, banana and pineapple swirling into her morning juice. She sat down at the setting next to him after pouring it in a glass, hair a frazzled halo in the halogens as she stared out at the dark backyard. “It’s always a little sad when it starts being dark when you leave,” she sighed, sipping on her juice. He grinned around his rice.

“You could always stay in bed and leave me to fend for myself.” She shoved at his shoulder, shaking her head as she twisted to sit right on her stool, spearing the yolk of her egg with her chopsticks to watch it run, distant look in her eyes as her smile fell. He blinked at her. “Okaa-san?”

She shook herself out of it, waving it off. “Nothing, just – the time of year.” She smiled at him, sipping at her shake. “Don’t you need to get going, butterball?”

He held in a reflexive snort at the nickname and covered his smile with his rice bowl, tipping it back for the last grains. He stuck two pieces of bacon on his mouth at once, hooking the handle of the thermos around his hand. “Sure do!” He hopped off the stool, tossing his bowl in the sink for later as he chomped on his bacon, juggling his phone out of his pocket. “Thanks for the food, Okaa-san!”

“Of course, Dai-chan,” she called after him as he ran to the door, her juice morning already forgotten in the search for his bag and Sawamura’s LINE message.

* * *

**Wed, Nov 7**

5:28 AM **actually Oikawa:** morning butterball  
5:56 AM **actually Sawamura:** oh no  
5:56 AM **actually Sawamura:** when did you hear that  
5:58 AM **actually Oikawa:** actually it was one of the very first things I heard as you but I was preoccupied  
5:59 AM **actually Oikawa:** your mom kindly reminded me this morning  
6:01 AM **actually Sawamura:** how much do I have to pay to make you forget that  
6:02 AM **actually Oikawa:** oh naïve captain-kun. No money is worth this  
6:04 AM **actually Oikawa:** I hope you don’t mind if I tweak those morning practice plans of yours you left pinned to your corkboard  
6:05 AM **actually Sawamura:** you’re not planning on sabotaging my team are you  
6:05 AM **actually Oikawa:** oh please. They’re Miyagi’s team now  
6:06 AM **actually Oikawa:** it’s not fun if I can’t beat Tobio-chan at the top of his game when he drags his ass to uni in a few years, if he can find a school that will accept his moronic head  
6:07 AM **actually Oikawa:** “Oikawa: King Toppler” has a nice ring to it  
6:07 AM **actually Sawamura:** don’t kill them  
6:09 AM **actually Oikawa:** if they die then they weren’t worthy  
6:12 AM **actually Sawamura:** OIKAWA!

* * *

**Wed, Nov 7**

6:12 AM **Oikawa Daichi:** please tell me Oikawa hasn’t killed y’all yet  
7:39 AM **sugasuga:** not for lack of trying  
7:40 AM **sugasuga:** what did you do to him? He’s a monster  
7:42 AM **Oikawa Daichi:** Nothing! He just took my training notes and ran with them!  
7:42 AM **sugasuga:** I did talk them over with him last night but I didn’t think he would /do/ anything about it  
7:43 AM **sugasuga:** he’s worse than you ever were now  
7:43 AM **sugasuga:** they must have immortal robots on staff over at Seijoh  
7:45 AM **sugasuga:** my legs feel like rubber  
7:46 AM **Oikawa Daichi:** I’m so sorry  
7:48 AM **sugasuga:** you know what this calls for right?  
7:48 AM **Oikawa Daichi:** revenge?  
7:49 AM **sugasuga:** /justice/

* * *

**Wed, Nov 7**

7:55 AM **一** **:** Oikawa wants to crash practice today who’s in  
7:57 AM **三** **_** **三** **:** why not  
7:58 AM **Makkicchi:** I’ll bring the chicks  
7:58 AM **三** **_** **三** **:** Anata no  
7:59 AM **一** **:** nevermind you’re uninvited  
7:59 AM **Makkicchi:** ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ  
8:00 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** nonsense, everyone is invited no matter the chick count  
8:01 AM **一** **:** you’ll regret that  
8:01 AM **Makkicchi:** I’ll keep the chicks for myself then ＼(♡Θ♡)／  
8:02 AM **三** **_** **三** **:** Takahiro are you cheating on me  
8:03 AM **Makkicchi:** Never Issei but you can’t fault a man for birdwatching  
8:05 AM **一** **:** I’m muting this  
8:06 AM **Makkicchi** **:** ANATA NO  
8:07 AM **(´** **∀** **`)** **ノ～** **♡** **:** pay attention in school~  
8:09 AM **三** **_** **三** **:** don’t worry Takahiro I’ll keep you company  
8:09 AM **Makkicchi** **:** I can always depend on you Issei  
8:09 AM **Makkicchi:** (˘∀˘)/(μ‿μ) ❤

* * *

**Wed, Nov 7**

12:28 PM **sugasuga:** image_f86e6a1.png  
12:29 PM **sugasuga:** looks like he overestimated your stamina  
12:32 PM **Oikawa Daichi:** please make sure I eat  
12:33 PM **sugasuga:** he ate some of mine too :(  
12:35 PM **Oikawa Daichi:** there’s some change in the side pocket of my bag go get a snack from the vending machine  
12:36 PM **sugasuga:** thanks sugar daddy (￣ε￣＠)  
12:36 PM **Oikawa Daichi:** he corrupted you  
12:38 PM **sugasuga:** he has his uses  
12:38 PM **sugasuga:** he’s pretty entertaining tbh. Learn to be funny before you come back  
12:39 PM **Oikawa Daichi:** rude  
12:43 PM **sugasuga:** how’s our revenge/justice coming along  
12:45 PM **Oikawa Daichi:** me and the other third years are crashing practice tonight so I’ll see what’s available then  
12:45 PM **sugasuga:** good. Stairs hurt and I blame both of you  
12:46 PM **Oikawa Daichi:** you are taking notes so we can keep it up later right  
12:48 PM **sugasuga:** you /have/ lost your faith in me in that new body  
12:48 PM **sugasuga:** stop backseat coaching **  
** 12:50 PM **Oikawa Daichi:** sorry I’m just nervous when I’m not there **  
** 12:51 PM **sugasuga:** I know you softie. I don’t think you have much to worry about if Oikawa keeps going like this though  
12:53 PM **sugasuga:** well maybe Asahi might melt into the earth  
12:55 PM **Oikawa Daichi:** good  
12:55 PM **sugasuga:** exactly **  
** 12:57 PM **sugasuga:** image_e4cd1e6.png  
12:58 PM **sugasuga:** princess woke up  
12:59 PM **Oikawa Daichi:** is that really how I look after a nap **  
** 13:00 PM **sugasuga:** no usually your hair is sticking in even more directions  
13:00 PM **Oikawa Daichi:** as Oikawa keeps telling me, go die  
13:01 PM **sugasuga:** getting into character, good  
13:01 PM **sugasuga:** (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b

* * *

**Wed, Nov 7**

12:55 PM **actually Sawamura:** stop trying to kill my team  
13:54 PM **actually Oikawa:** never   
13:56 PM **actually Sawamura:** I have to say, getting revenge on us beating you by whipping them into shape is a new one  
13:58 PM **actually Oikawa:** there’s only so much I can do when you’re about as mean as a fried egg  
13:58 PM **actually Oikawa:** death by drills is the worst you can do  
13:58 PM **actually Sawamura:** I’m not a pushover  
13:59 PM **actually Oikawa:** oh captain-kun. You’re precious  
14:00 PM **actually Sawamura:** then you don’t deserve to know what I’m doing after school  
14:00 PM **actually Oikawa:** what  
14:00 PM **actually Oikawa:** Sawa-chan tell me  
14:02 PM **actually Oikawa:** Sawa-chaaaaaaan  
14:52 PM **actually Oikawa:** Sawamura-chan!!!  
14:54 PM **actually Sawamura:** I’m sorry I think you have the wrong number this is Oikawa Tooru’s phone  
14:54 PM **actually Oikawa:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

* * *

**Wed, Nov 7**

14:54 PM **daichi:** IWACHAN WHAT ARE YOU AND THE BODYSNATCHER DOING TONIGHT????  
14:56 PM **一** **:** crashing practice  
14:56 PM **一** **:** why?  
14:57 PM **daichi** **:** oh he is so /dead/  
14:59 PM **一** **:** whatever  
15:00 PM **一** **:** I’m just going to make sure Kyoutani is still alive  
15:02 PM **shithead** **:** you clucking mother hen

* * *

**Wed, Nov 7**

15:00 PM **actually Oikawa:** GET AWAY FROM MY BABIES  
15:01 PM **actually Sawamura:** they’re my babies now  
15:01 PM **actually Sawamura:** you surrendered custody  
15:01 PM **actually Oikawa:** NEVER  
15:01 PM **actually Oikawa:** I DID NO SUCH THING  
15:02 PM **actually Sawamura:** too late  
15:03 PM **actually Oikawa:** THEN I’M ADOPTING YOURS  
15:03 PM **actually Sawamura:** we both know that’s a lie  
15:03 PM **actually Sawamura:** stay true to your heart noisy-san  
15:04 PM **actually Oikawa:** uuuuuuugh  
15:05 PM **actually Sawamura:** unless you’re going to admit Kageyama is still a kohai?  
15:05 PM **actually Oikawa:** NOPE BYE  
15:05 PM **actually Sawamura:** thought so

* * *

**Wed, Nov 7**

15:05 PM **shithead** **:** please don’t let Sawa-chan be mean to our babies  
15:05 PM **一** **:** like he’s capable of that  
15:05 PM **一** **:** also fuck off it’s not like you even pay your child support  
15:06 PM **shithead** **:** :000000

* * *

Even though Daichi had been to the Seijoh volleyball gym before, the size and sound of a full practice flooded his senses right at the door. His pace stuttered, blinking, but Iwaizumi pushed him forward, hand warm on his back. “In you get, Captain-kun.”

Makki bounced by, slamming the landing with his stance spread and arms outflung. “We’re home!” he cried. Multiple heads turned, waving or calling out greetings. Mattsun rolled his eyes as he shouldered past Daichi to grab Makki’s elbow, dragging him behind serve and receive practice to the coach bench between the middle courts – they had enough courts for there to be a _middle_. Iwaizumi kept shoving Daichi forward, Daichi doing the waving for both of them. Oh no – what if they asked him to play? What if they asked him to _set?_ He needed to get some court time with Oikawa (and hopefully Suga and Iwaizumi, too) STAT.

He beamed as they approached the coaches’ bench, heart pounding. “Afternoon!” he greeted, Iwaizumi halting the march behind him. “Lovely day!”

The older coach with dark hair and worry lines spared him a look, smiles hidden in his wrinkles. “Was wondering how long it would take you lot to show up.” He nodded at the court behind him. “Matsukawa, go check out blocking practice and see if anyone seems like a good match with Kindaichi.” Matsukawa ducked a nod and ambled over, Makki clinging to his side as he rubbed his hands together at the prospect of ‘fresh meat’. “Oikawa…” Daichi bit his cheek behind his smile. The coach gestured at the serve and spike drilling going on in front of them. “Help him.”

Daichi tilted his head and turned to the problem at hand. The fluffy setter – their old backup, now starting, Yahaba-something – bared his teeth as another set didn’t fly right. He crossed his arms as Yahaba stamped his foot and rugged at his hair, the intended spiker ducking under the net with a scowl. He sighed, and the head coach nodded at the other, who blew his whistle for a water break and drill turnover on the court. Most of the court jogged over to the wall of gear and water bottles, but Yahaba stayed by the net, slamming his face into a volleyball repeatedly. Daichi rolled his eyes as dramatically as he knew how and wandered over, shoving his hands in his uniform pants pockets.

He leant sideways a little, watching the edges of Yahaba’s face from around the ball. “Yoo-hoo! Yahaba-chan?” Yahaba jerked up, heaving for breath, to blink at Daichi, who smiled. “Problem?”

“Oikawa-san!” he gasped, hair sticking to his face. He flicked it away, standing up straight and dropping the ball to pay his palms on his thighs. “I- I didn’t know you were watching!”

Daichi raised an eyebrow over an attempt at a pout. “I’m _always_ watching.” He leant back, arms crossed to evaluate this new player. Oikawa had equated him and Ennoshita in their breakdown of each other’s teams, but Daichi had always gotten more of a Suga vibe – a competent, thinking setter with confidence issues. Only difference with this one seemed to be that he had a temper. “Calm down, Yahaba – chan,” he said, stumbling over the honorific. “You’re not in trouble for a few bad sets.” Yahaba tried to hide an exhausted sigh but failed, shoulders slumping.

“I’m sorry, Oikawa-san, I’m _trying_ , I just…” He shook his head, sweat flying from his hair. “I can’t _read_ people like you. It’s hard to know what people want.”

Daichi snorted. “That’s when you _ask_ , silly.” When Yahaba just looked at the floor, Daichi sighed, running a hand through his own hair. “Look,” he began, “No one’s _born_ a mind reader. Most people don’t even try. Su- uh, some people learn by asking and collecting facts until you’ve got a big enough set to pull from that you can pretty much figure it out.” Yahaba just kept scowling, nose wrinkled. “If you stop snapping at people – including yourself – you might find you learn something on the way.”

He grumbled, arms tight around himself. “ _You_ never need an interview before you set to somebody,” he mumbled. Daichi laughed – laughed _right_.

“Well, not everyone can be me!” He ignored the ugly snort from Iwaizumi behind him, instead watching as Yahaba curled tighter. Daichi raised an eyebrow. “You know that’s… okay, right? That you’re not me?” Yahaba’s lip curled. Daichi scowled. “Iwa-chan!” he called.

“You don’t have to yell,” Iwaizumi grumbled, trotting up from where he was pretending like he wasn’t eavesdropping. Daichi tapped his toes, still watching Yahaba’s face twist. “You do realize people are staring,” he mumbled at Daichi’s elbow.

Did Oikawa care? No, Oikawa didn’t. “Iwa-chan, tell this child here that he doesn’t need to be able to read minds like me to be a good setter.”

Iwaizumi snorted. “You’ve _never_ been a mind reader, Shittykawa. You’re a con artist.” He jerked a thumb at Daichi, who gasped a beat late. “This asshole’s not born to it, he’s just a creep who watches people like some anthropologist. _No one_ needs to do that.” He glared at Daichi, who shrugged back. “Stop trying to _guess_ what your spikers want,” he told Yahaba, who was blinking at both of them, mouth fallen open. “It’s faster if you ask. Don’t waste away your childhood like this moron.”

Daichi gasped on time this time. “Iwa-chan! How rude!”

“It’s not rude if it’s true.” He grabbed Daichi by the back of his uniform jacket, hauling him back to the sidelines as the whistle blew them back to order.

Daichi waved Yahaba at the approaching chattering players as the coach called the next drill. “ _Talk to them,_ ” he stage whispered, winking. Yahaba set his shoulder and spun on his heel, marching to meet them and fall in by the last spiker who had missed, firing off questions that, after a moment of surprise, he answered in kind. Daichi sighed, falling back on Iwaizumi when he slammed to a stop and swooning a little in his arms (on purpose). “The baby’s all grown up,” he sang, laughing a little at himself. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and shoved him off as the head coach chuckled.

* * *

Practice wasn’t as scary as Daichi feared. He was able to use the real fact that his knee kept twinging on him as an excuse not to dress out and just offer sideline commentary. He kept waiting for a question he couldn’t answer, but each time a stressed-out second year ran up to ask him to watch their form or a coach asked him to do the same for a shy first year, he was able to fumble through it, the voice and smile helping him recover when he broke character. Iwaizumi got dragged to his own protégé eventually, but the eyes Daichi could feel burning into him both kept him grounded and made him dizzy. It was a relief when it was over, although Daichi resolved to come back before he was himself again. There was some good stuff there.

The four of them wandered out while everyone else changed, Mattsun and Makki leading the way to some ramen joint that was their usual post-practice haunt. Daichi and Iwaizumi fell behind as the other two jostled back and forth on the sidewalk, Makki laughing like a hyena when Mattsun crashed into a camellia bush, doubled over. He held out floppy arms for Mattsun to use as leverage to haul himself out, getting his revenge by yanking the hood of Makki’s coat up and over his face with a smirk, faces pink in the cold wind.

Daichi nudged Iwaizumi. “Hey.” Iwaizumi hummed, not looking up his phone (where he was reassuring a familiar LINE icon that Daichi hadn’t ‘disgraced the family name’). “How long have those two been dating?”

Iwaizumi tripped on a crack in the pavement, Daichi lurching to catch him before he could fall on his face. “ _What?_ ” he hissed, face close enough to Daichi’s to feel the film of his breath. Daichi blinked, blood rushing through his head.

“Uh, I just thought – I assumed – I mean, they call each other by their given name, and they’re _always_ touching, so…” He cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets as Iwaizumi switched from glaring at him to glaring at the unwitting accused, brow furrowed. “Is that… I figured, with how much y’all flirt with each other, that was… okay.” He hid behind Oikawa’s scarf. “Is it not?”

“What?” Iwaizumi repeated, still glaring at the other two’s backs, thoughts ticking away behind distant eyes. “Oh, sure, whatever, fine, but if they didn’t _tell me-_ ” He growled as Makki wrapped an arm around Mattsun’s waist for a hot second, flashing away with a laugh. “They’ve always been – touchy,” Iwaizumi grumbled, fists shaking at his sides, “but, so are we… I didn’t even _notice?_ ” His teeth grinding was audible even from here. “Fuck _that!_ ”

He stomped off after them to grab Mattsun’s elbow and yank him around, punching his other shoulder hard enough to make him stumble and gasp. “Dude!” Makki yelled, trying to grab for Iwaizumi before he could assault them again. “What’s your deal?”

“What’s _your_ deal, huh?” Iwaizumi snapped back, shrugging him off. “Why’d I have to find out from- Oikawa’s stalker ass you two were _dating?_ ” They both froze, Makki with hands outstretched and Mattsun up against a garden wall. Iwaizumi glared between them, face red. “ _Well?_ ”

“But…” Mattsun’s throat worked as Daichi slinked closer as quietly as he could. “We’re _not_ dating.”

Iwaizumi stepped back, looking between their shellshocked faces, Mattsun’s stricken and pale while Makki had turned a splotchy pink. “Wait. But…” Iwaizumi sucked in a hollow breath. “ _Fuck_.”

“I’m gonna…” Makki shuffled away, making strangled whining noises before running down the street into the night. Mattsun stared after him, hooded eyes round for the first time since Daichi had met him. Maybe he had hit the nail too firmly on the head. Iwaizumi was locked to the concrete, staring after Makki’s reddish hair, so Daichi had to sigh and step forward to nudge Mattsun down the sidewalk Makki was fast disappearing down. “Go after him.” Mattsun stared, and he pushed harder. “Go on!”

Mattsun stumbled with the push – continued with the momentum, taking off to the corner where Makki had disappeared. “Taka! Wait!”

Daichi sighed, hands on his hips as he watched Mattsun slip as he rounded the corner too fast, catching himself on a lamppost and swinging around it. “Ah, young love.”

Iwaizumi shot him a look. “You’re getting way too into this ‘acting like Oikawa’ thing,” he grumbled. Daichi laughed, hopping to keep up as Iwaizumi marched on to ramen.

* * *

21:36 PM **actually Sawamura:** hey  
21:38 PM **actually Oikawa:** good evening bodysnatcher  
21:38 PM **actually Oikawa:** how was your bodysnatching day?  
21:39 PM **actually Sawamura:** weird  
21:40 PM **actually Sawamura:** I think I might have fucked up your friends a little  
21:40 PM **actually Oikawa:** oh?  
21:41 PM **actually Sawamura:** I thought Mattsun and Makki were dating  
21:41 PM **actually Oikawa:** oh!  
21:41 PM **actually Oikawa:** they have been getting handsier lately  
21:42 PM **actually Sawamura:** that’s what I thought!  
21:42 PM **actually Sawamura:** it wasn’t until after I asked Iwa if they were that I realized I didn’t even know how y’all… felt about that  
21:43 PM **actually Sawamura:** I mean I know you’re gay for Iwa but I didn’t know if you were hiding it because you’re scared of rejection or in denial  
21:44 PM **actually Oikawa:** rrrrrrrrrrrrude  
21:44 PM **actually Sawamura:** but you don’t deny it  
21:46 PM **actually Sawamura:**?  
21:47 PM **actually Oikawa:** will you leave it alone if I abstain  
21:47 PM **actually Sawamura:** maybe  
21:48 PM **actually Sawamura:** but it’s getting harder to tell where your feelings end and mine begin  
21:49 PM **actually Oikawa:** Iwa-chan’s pretty crush-worthy  
21:49 PM **actually Sawamura:** I think you like girls more than I do  
21:50 PM **actually Oikawa:** GIRLS ARE GREAT  
21:50 PM **actually Sawamura:** girls are people like everyone else  
21:51 PM **actually Oikawa:** you’re a sham  
21:51 PM **actually Sawamura:** for respecting women?  
21:51 PM **actually Oikawa:** get out  
21:52 PM **actually Sawamura:** no  
21:52 PM **actually Sawamura:** I had to turn down a girl’s confession to her face yesterday and I still feel bad for making her cry  
21:52 PM **actually Sawamura:** she seemed nice but she had her own problems on top of this nonsense  
21:53 PM **actually Oikawa:** so how do /you/ keep them away  
21:53 PM **actually Oikawa:** everyone likes you so why aren’t I tripping over love notes down the hall  
21:54 PM **actually Sawamura:** guess they figured out I’m not interested? I got a few my first year but they’ve slacked off since then  
21:55 PM **actually Sawamura:** closest I’ve gotten is Yui I guess but I don’t want to ruin a friendship with a failed relationship  
21:55 PM **actually Oikawa:** that’s both harsh and extremely mature  
21:56 PM **actually Sawamura:** we’ve been friends since middle school and I’d like to think if I was gonna develop feelings they would’ve shown up by now  
21:56 PM **actually Oikawa:** so you know the Karasuno gossip that y’all are supposed to end up married then?  
21:56 PM **actually Sawamura:** yeah  
21:57 PM **actually Sawamura:** I dunno she’s nice and funny and we get along but… I dunno  
21:57 PM **actually Oikawa:** no spark?  
21:58 PM **actually Sawamura:** yeah  
21:59 PM **actually Oikawa:** I have noticed that I don’t feel as fluttery around girls I know are cute like, objectively  
22:00 PM **actually Sawamura:** yeah I always thought I was bi but now that I know what it’s supposed to feel like to be into girls I dunno maybe I really am gay?  
22:01 PM **actually Sawamura:** girls are fine in theory but in practice I’ve never really been /into it/  
22:03 PM **actually Oikawa:** guess I’m the opposite then  
22:03 PM **actually Oikawa:** the only boy I’ve really felt more than a passing interest in is Iwa-chan  
22:04 PM **actually Sawamura:** and there’s more than just a nice jawline at work there  
22:04 PM **actually Oikawa:** yeah  
22:04 PM **actually Oikawa:** and if you ever breathe a word of this to him you’re dead no matter what body you’re in Sawa-chan  
22:05 PM **actually Sawamura:** haha I know  
22:05 PM **actually Sawamura:** it’s weird not feeling stuff for Mattsun tbh  
22:05 PM **actually Oikawa:** so I gotta ask about Suga/Asahi  
22:05 PM **actually Oikawa:** what  
22:06 PM **actually Sawamura:** he’s got good cheekbones ok  
22:06 PM **actually Oikawa:** that’s true but  
22:06 PM **actually Oikawa:** what  
22:06 PM **actually Sawamura:** haha what can I say I know what I’m into  
22:07 PM **actually Oikawa:** wow ok never speak of that again  
22:07 PM **actually Sawamura:** re: suga/asahi: we all kind of ran that gauntlet in first year together  
22:07 PM **actually Sawamura:** it was a patented disaster but we all got out okay but no. we’re good  
22:08 PM **actually Oikawa:** fun love triangle shenanigans? **  
** 22:09 PM **actually Sawamura:** there’s a reason we’re all kind of chill about stuff that’s not straight is all I’m saying  
22:10 PM **actually Sawamura:** ask Suga if you want the full story he loves telling it  
22:10 PM **actually Sawamura:** but yeah we all sort of experienced crush hell together and now we’re over it  
22:11 PM **actually Oikawa:** impressive   
22:11 PM **actually Sawamura:** asahi scares off anyone who he thinks is cute now and Suga just stopped caring?  
22:12 PM **actually Sawamura:** feelings are weird and pointless  
22:12 PM **actually Oikawa:** SECONDED  
22:14 PM **actually Sawamura:** ok so I’ve talked about myself now. Your turn  
22:15 PM **actually Oikawa:** bastard  
22:1 PM **actually Oikawa:** I dunno I’ve dated girls since middle school but none of them stuck around  
22:16 PM **actually Sawamura:** shocker  
22:16 PM **actually Oikawa:** die  
22:16 PM **actually Oikawa:** there’s just always…. Stuff  
22:17 PM **actually Sawamura:** does ‘stuff’ have a bad haircut and pretty eyes  
22:18 PM **actually Oikawa:** stop looking at Iwa-chan’s eyes  
22:19 PM **actually Oikawa:** but do tell him he needs to stop letting his sister cut his hair it’s awful  
22:20 PM **actually Sawamura:** okaa-san does mine  
22:20 PM **actually Oikawa:** ofc she does  
22:21 PM **actually Oikawa:** he’s not the ONLY thing  
22:21 PM **actually Oikawa:** there’s volleyball  
22:21 PM **actually Sawamura:** I get that  
22:21 PM **actually Oikawa:** if anyone would it’d be you  
22:22 PM **actually Oikawa:** but… it’s hard for me to get close to people   
22:22 PM **actually Oikawa:** didn’t really realize it until I got here and had to be you  
22:22 PM **actually Oikawa:** thanks for that  
22:23 PM **actually Oikawa:** how are you this close to /everyone/?  
22:24 PM **actually Sawamura:** because I care about them  
22:25 PM **actually Oikawa:** it’s not that I don’t care about my exes I just… can’t  
22:25 PM **actually Sawamura:** you’re always comparing them  
22:28 PM **actually Oikawa:** yeah  
22:28 PM **actually Oikawa:** and even when it’s not dating it’s hard without volleyball  
22:28 PM **actually Sawamura:** I had noticed that  
22:29 PM **actually Oikawa:** maybe I only get people if I set to them lol  
22:29 PM **actually Oikawa:** noticed what?  
22:30 PM **actually Sawamura:** well like, I always thought that because you got interviewed all the time and had a fanclub you must be super popular  
22:31 PM **actually Sawamura:** and people say they like you but only the other team third years really /talk/ to me  
22:32 PM **actually Sawamura:** everyone else looks at me like a marble statue  
22:32 PM **actually Sawamura:** a pretty untouchable thing  
22:32 PM **actually Sawamura:** you lead a lonely life, Oikawa  
22:33 PM **actually Oikawa:** it’s called being an introvert at heart Sawa-chan  
22:34 PM **actually Sawamura:** guess I didn’t know how extroverted I was then  
22:34 PM **actually Oikawa:** took being someone else to understand ourselves  
22:34 PM **actually Sawamura:** hahaha  
22:37 PM **actually Sawamura:** your house is lonely  
22:38 PM **actually Oikawa:** you get used to it  
22:39 PM **actually Oikawa:** okaa-san and oto-san don’t like, neglect me, there’s just a lot of family to see and I can take care of myself  
22:40 PM **actually Oikawa:** and I’m the baby so it’s not as dramatic I guess  
22:40 PM **actually Sawamura:** if you say so  
22:41 PM **actually Sawamura:** how’s okaa-san  
22:43 PM **actually Oikawa:** talking her head off about this game show  
22:43 PM **actually Sawamura:** haha of course  
22:44 PM **actually Oikawa:** does momma’s boy miss his okaa-chan?  
22:45 PM **actually Sawamura:** maybe  
22:46 PM **actually Sawamura:** mom trade for a day? Iwa for okaa-san?  
22:40 PM **actually Oikawa:** you’re on  
22:47 PM **actually Oikawa:** but don’t call him that he gets crabby  
22:48 PM **actually Sawamura:** haha good deal  
22:48 PM **actually Sawamura:** it’s just so quiet here  
22:50 PM **actually Oikawa:** S_7025905861954.mp4 **  
** 22:51 PM **actually Sawamura:** hahahaha  
22:52 PM **actually Oikawa:** she sure is something  
22:52 PM **actually Sawamura:** she is  
22:54 PM **actually Oikawa:** if you really miss her we can have a house party Saturday after practice  
22:55 PM **actually Sawamura:** please?  
22:56 PM **actually Oikawa:** as long as you bring my blankets  
22:56 PM **actually Sawamura:** please  
22:57 PM **actually Sawamura:** you would think we would have each other’s temperature sensitivity  
22:57 PM **actually Oikawa:** you would /think/  
22:57 PM **actually Oikawa:** YOUR HOUSE IS SO COLD  
22:58 PM **actually Sawamura:** it’s /fine/ you baby  
22:59 PM **actually Sawamura:** I had to turn down the heat here  
22:59 PM **actually Sawamura:** your thermostat is weird  
23:00 PM **actually Oikawa:** most theromstats are **  
** 23:59 PM **actually Oikawa:** you better turn it back up before Okaa-san and oto-san get home  
23:00 PM **actually Sawamura:** sure, sure. When is that?  
23:01 PM **actually Oikawa:** Sunday, unless they call and change it  
23:02 PM **actually Sawamura:** we should talk about that on Saturday  
23:03 PM **actually Oikawa:** we should  
23:05 PM **actually Oikawa:** but for now I should go to sleep I have crows to kill in the morning  
23:06 PM **actually Sawamura:** please don’t  
23:08 PM **actually Oikawa:** they must be worthy  
23:12 PM **actually Sawamura:** if you say so  
23:14 PM **actually Sawamura:** I’ll update you on Mattsun and Makki tomorrow if there’s anything  
23:22 PM **actually Oikawa:** thank you kindly  
23:24 PM **actually Sawamura:** good night Oikawa  
23:24 PM **actually Oikawa:** night Sawa-chan


End file.
